In the San Diego Convention centre, the janitorial staff is still busy plucking remnants of nerd brains off the carpet in the wake of DC Comics’s announcement, in the midst of Comic-Con, that the next Man of Steel movie would have Superman challenging Batman. Man of Steel director Zack Snyder intimated that one of them would be the villain, thus pitting two beloved franchises against each other on the silver screen.
There were reports of thunderous cheers when this was announced, which, well, is sort of the norm at Comic-Con. People like to cheer for everything there. But one of the biggest reasons nerds are elated about this news is because Hollywood is finally acknowledging that not all superheroes are born equal. People have favorites — and want those favorites acknowledged.
Some like the squeaky clean Superman, while others love the dramatic flair of Storm, or the dark edginess Batman. Given the great diversity of superheroes, we all have different affinities. And whom we root for unsurprisingly says something about our own non-superhero selves.
Superman: You don’t believe in underdogs. Cheering for Kal-El is sort of like rooting for Duke or the Miami Heat—you like the very best and don’t like to be on the losing team. You are probably the firstborn and are a bit of an overachiever, so you’re used to setting the example and handling the pressure that comes with it. You have probably enabled “god mode” in a video game or cheated on your golf score at some point. You’re loyal to a fault, or at least like loyal people. You’re also an optimist and see the good in all, despite what Batman fans says about you.
Batman: Do you secretly enjoy watching Superman (and his fan base) getting his (or their) butt(s) kicked? Yes. You like your heroes damaged, because perfection is silly. If everything were perfect, then why even bother making comic books? You’re a realist with a pessimistic bent. You’ve seen the worst and know that you need to see the ugly side of things to appreciate life fully. You may also be a Mets fan.
Wonder Woman: Practicality means nothing to you, which is why you root for an Amazonian with indestructible bracelets and a lasso of truth. You were kind of hurt when writers gave Diana Prince the power of flight because you knew that it would mean she’d be giving up her invisible plane. Like Superman fans, you’re also an optimist, but you also know that people will and can be jerks. For example, the guys who just think Wonder Woman is hot.
Green Arrow: You liked archery before The Hunger Games and Hawkeye made it cool.
Green Lantern: You aren’t a fan of Ryan Reynolds. You have a pair of green pants.
The Flash: Swingers is your favorite movie, and you’ve long argued over beers that Vince Vaughn would make a great Flash if he weren’t so big and lumbering. You like slick talkers and fast walkers. You’re probably a big Ryan Reynolds fan.
Damian Wayne: You’re not-all-that-secretly hoping the royal baby is the anti-Christ.
Aquaman: You were a swimmer in high school who always felt out of place. Your natural habitat was in the water, away from people, and especially your teammates.
Martian Manhunter: Weird, stoic dudes who occasionally go off the deep end do it for you. You probably still listen to a lot of Fall Out Boy, too.
Robin: You have a small man’s complex. You think the littler guys deserve more credit, and you’re always more interested in the the supporting acting Oscars than the big wigs fancy pants main players. You like Scottie Pippen and Pau Gasol.
Captain America: See Superman fans.
Spider-Man: You love a good underdog story and might have been bullied as a kid. Now you’re probably 30, drive a Porsche, have an awesome boyfriend/girlfriend, and live in Manhattan. The kids who beat you up aren’t faring as well, and you probably spend a lot of time un-friending them on Facebook.
Ironman: You are the life of the party, and like your heroes to have a little bit of fun. You may also be an early adopter an Apple fanboy.
Hawkeye: You liked archery before Green Arrow and The Hunger Games made it cool.
Cyclops: You like penis jokes, but won’t laugh at them in public.
Wolverine: You are probably the shortest person in your family, which your taller family members reminded you of every day. You don’t deal well with authority and are completely fine with starting fights, just as long as you can end them. You also like things that aren’t yours.
Emma Frost: Love you or hate you, you just don’t want to be ignored. You prefer blondes over redheads. You also watched a lot of Mean Girls and probably thought Regina George was the hero and that Cady Heron should’ve been the one struck by the bus. You are probably enjoying Lindsay Lohan’s fall from grace a little too much. You like someone to tell it like it is, preferably with a bit of snark and wit. The Avengers’ boys-club-fraternity kinda make you want to barf, but you have too much class to do that.
Gambit: You’ve tried to throw cards before or at least YouTubed it. You’ve probably also shoplifted.
Colossus: You are noble. You have terrible siblings who you’d risk your life for. You might also like Thor, though Colossus is way cooler.
Rogue: You like potlucks. You and your mother have a difficult relationship.
Psylocke: You relish a good backstory. You adore psychics, ninjas and psychic ninjas. You, my friend, are a Psylocke fan. Simple things and simple people bore you. Once you’ve got them figured out, there’s no reason to go back, right? And let’s be honest, you’re not even sure how much or how little telekinesis Psylocke still possesses, which is the beauty of being a Psylocke fan.
The Hulk: There’s beauty in simplicity, and that’s how you like your heroes. You read Wikipedia entries of movies you don’t see. People can’t get to the point fast enough.
Storm: You might be a little gay. Or, at the very least, you like your superhero tales dripping in drama. Storm has a flair for the dramatic. So do her fans. In your world, winds don’t blow—they swirl with the cold fury of Arctic gales. And when Storm kicks butt, she kicks it with the full force of the hurricane. You probably also like Greek mythology and RuPaul, or liked that one commercial RuPaul had envisioning herself and her drag queens as greek goddesses.
Dazzler: Your best “friend” is a Storm fan.
Jean Grey: No one actually likes Jean Grey. People who say they are big Jean Grey fans can’t be trusted.
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