Young People Aren't Having Sex In New York Anymore, Says Young Man Who Works At A Hedge Fund


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20-somethings In New York City are not getting laid anymore and they don’t really care about it, according to a reporter from the Observer who visited a number of parties and bars this weekend.The observer was startled by the number of people *not* going home together at the end of the night, but everyone at the parties told him it was pretty normal.

“New York is too dense; you’re running into people all the time, everyone knows everyone,” said a male consultant in his mid-20s. “Sex just doesn’t make sense—it’s dirty.”

He continued – “It’s gross to be, like, at a party and there’s five people you’ve had sex with, but you don’t really even have a relationship with them to the point that you’d even say hi.

“I’ve noticed that happen at parties here. It’s just … awkward. It’s come to a point where people don’t necessarily want to do that anymore.”

A little background on the people at these parties: they were also smoking cigarettes, doing cocaine, and updating their Twitter.

In the end, the conclusion is that we’re obsessed with ourselves, so we’re too busy working and getting ahead to get any in bed.

“Capitalism has replaced sex,” a model told the Observer.

The best explanation (in our 20-something opinion) came from a young man who works at a hedge fund who offered his input:

“20-somethings are wary of sex.”

“It’s not 1998.”

In other words, we’re smarter, so we know that sex could be a health risk, and we don’t want anything bad to happen to us, so we go overboard and avoid sex altogether, as an extra precaution to protect our precious selves.

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