A Comedian Is Writing An Entire Novel In Yelp Reviews

If you’re looking up businesses in the Philadelphia area on Yelp, you might be in for a surprise.

Comedian Gregg Gethard has taken to Yelp with the username Kyle G. and is writing a hilarious novel through Yelp comments on Philadelphia businesses (via Grubstreet). The novel features an actuary named Kyle G. and his divorce from Cynthia, his wife of 14 years. He also writes about his new love interest Tonya M. who was convicted for voter fraud; Cynthia’s love interest, Doug, who is a fitness trainer at LA Fitness; and his two kids, Bradley and Bryan (B’n’B).

His comments were left on the pages of businesses including AT&T, LA Fitness, Custard and Cakes Creamery, and Stanley’s Hardware. He gives each business five stars.

The writer’s reviews incorporate bits of the story as well as commentary on the business, and are hilarious. Take this one, on Cactus Restaurant and Bar: “I had a Bloody Mary and it was too spicy, but to be fair I made it myself at the Bloody Mary bar so it was my fault, like everything has been for 14 years.” Many other Yelp users have rated Gethard’s comments as “Funny,” “Useful,” and “Cool.”

Here are some excerpts from Gethard’s Yelp novel. To read all of his comments, visit his Yelp page.

He got divorced from Cynthia, with much regret and pain.

He moved to a new apartment and tried to clear his head.

He reflects a little bit on his marriage while at the Cactus Restaurant & Bar

And tries to make everything ok with his kids at Han Dynasty.

He meets a new love interest named Tonya M. on OK Cupid, and they go on a date at Volo Coffeehouse.

He adopts a cat and names him Dog.

Kyle and Tonya decide to make it official at Dawson Street Pub.

And Kyle awkwardly runs into Cynthia’s new love interest, Doug, at LA Fitness.

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