Yahoo, Microsoft, Time Warner, News Corp, and AOL Agree To Talk Forever And Never Do Anything

All major Internet companies not named Google are in talks about mergers, partnerships, spinouts, and other proposals to quiet irate shareholders and stop getting their butts kicked, says the WSJ. No news on when they finally plan to stop talking and actually do something.

  • Yahoo’s talking to Time Warner about merging with AOL. Time Warner would get a minority stake in the combined company, diluting the hell out of Yahoo shareholders and leaving Time Warner shareholders wondering why they bothered.
  • Microsoft’s talking to Time Warner about buying AOL. But they’ll only do it if Yahoo tries to buy AOL, in which case they’ll outbid them.
  • Microsoft’s talking to News Corp. about cutting Yahoo in half–search to Microsoft, the rest to News Corp. for a disastrous merger with MySpace. Boy, do we hate this plan.
  • Yahoo’s shareholders are talking to Yahoo about selling its search business. As in “do it now, or we’ll fire you, because we still can’t believe how much money we lost when you blew the Microsoft deal.”
  • Yahoo’s talking to its shareholders about its great turnaround plan. The shareholders aren’t listening because they’re still steamed about how Yahoo blew the Microsoft deal.
  • News Corp’s talking to Yahoo occasionally, just to make sure it doesn’t miss out on anything.

Are you bored yet? We’re bored.

Yahoo shouldn’t do any of these deals. It should just get its act together, get the Google partnership working, and get its business heading in the right direction again.

See Also: AOL For Sale


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