- Only 25% of women report consistently orgasming from penetrative sex.
- According to the results of a new study, the biggest reason seems to be that they can’t quiet their minds in order to relax and enjoy the pleasure.
- Taking time to quiet your mind and get into the present moment before sex could help you achieve orgasm more often.
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Considering the number of women who have sex regularly, the number of orgasms they report having is shockingly low.
A new study, presented today at the annual meeting for The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, looked into the reasons why women aren’t orgasming as often as their male counterparts, and found a common reason is women have trouble staying focused on the moment during sex.
To determine this, study author and Finnish sociologist and sexologist Osmo Kontula surveyed 7,000 women and 1,000 men in 2018 about how often they experienced orgasms, whether they believe it’s easier or harder for themselves to orgasm than other people, and why they believed they had trouble reaching climax.
According to the survey results, the majority of women reported having trouble reaching climax because they couldn’t quiet their minds in order to relax and enjoy the pleasure.
Other reasons included low self-esteem, medication side effects, not enough clitoral stimulation, and feeling they were incompatible with their partner.
George Rudy/ShutterstockShowering or otherwise relaxing before sex could help you get in the right mental space.
There are ways to increase your chances of orgasming during partnered sex
The brain plays a key role in sexual response and orgasm, so it makes sense the women who had difficulty often said it was related to an inability to focus solely on sex.
Taking time to quiet your mind and get into the present moment before sex could help you achieve orgasm more often.
“Sometimes I tell my clients to take five minutes to themselves and do something that doesn’t involve any sort of electronics,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin previously told Insider. “Focus on your breathing, maybe do a little meditation, maybe start fantasizing, do a little yoga or stretching, stuff like that.”
Marin also suggested taking a relaxing shower before sex, letting yourself fantasize about your sexual turn-ons, or spending time cuddling and talking intimately with your partner to help get your mind off stress and into the bedroom.
Since the study results were self-reported, it’s possible women’s self-perceptions about why they couldn’t orgasm were incorrect and there’s another underlying problem like with medication side effects or partner incompatibility. In these cases, seeking help from a therapist or other expert could help pinpoint the real reason orgasm is difficult.
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