Boston Girl Writes To Dating Columnist: My (Ex)Boyfriend’s CFA Exam Is Ruining My Life


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The world of finance is a crazy one, and some people, more than others, will take whatever advice they can get when it really starts to take its toll.For example, one attractive London lady sought advice over how she should overcome her ‘good looks’ in the workplace.

And this week, a 23-year-old woman from Boston needed some guidance.

Help! She says — my ex-boyfriend’s CFA study is ruining my life.

She wrote to love-life columnist Meredith, at the Boston Globe (via Dealbreaker):

Hi Meredith,

Back story is that I started dating my best friend of about five years this past September.

It’s by far the best relationship I’ve been in and he treats me so well I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him (I’m 23. I’ve been around the block. I’ve known him for 5 years).

He is in the thick of studying for part 3 of the CFA right now and has been since January. The test is in early June. I have been incredibly understanding about his priority (passing this test!). When his job and the studying became extra stressful last month, he threw a curve ball at me and said that he felt like something was missing in our relationship but that he couldn’t decipher if it was his external stresses or just us. We decided to work on it, but more recently the conversation came back up and he said he still feels something is missing. I’m deeply hurt by this and I really just hope it’s the stress of the CFA that is sucking the life out of him, but I also don’t think it’s fair for me to sit around and wait until after the CFA for my “trial period” to be up.

We called it off last night and I’m just looking for some help on how I should be feeling about this situation and what to do after the CFA is over in June. Reevaluate? Move on? Is he just a commitment-phobe?

– CFA is ruining my life, Boston

Meredith was pretty blunt in her response (she doesn’t think it’s about the CFA at all):

There isn’t anything you can do besides treat this like a breakup… From what you’ve told us, he isn’t begging you to wait it out until June to see what’s what. He told you twice that something was missing from the relationship. After discussing it more, you called it off. That’s your reality.

If he comes running back to you in June you can reevaluate if you want, but there’s no need to plan for that now. 

I want you to give yourself space and try not to fantasize about June. I know it’s tempting to play out the post-CFA possibilities, but I fear that your dreams about his potential revelations will just leave you disappointed.

On CFA-is-ruining-my-life‘s side, we have friends in the same situation at the moment, and they are counting down the days until that day in June when their relationships will finally return to normal.

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