As you know, Citigroup went for the reverse Solomon this morning, demonstrating its wisdom by splitting Sandy Weil’s baby in two. Vikram Pandit, the Morgan Stanley guy who somehow now runs Citi, is apparently going to get to run the ‘good bank’ that gets to keep all those deposits and profitable businesses. The ‘bad bank’–which is already being called Shitty Holdings by Wall Streeters–gets all the “long term” (ie, worthless) assets.
So who should run Shitty? The best suggestion we’ve heard so far is that the job should go to one of the Wall Street leaders deposed for ruining their bank. It can be a kind of penance for their sins. So let’s give the job to Stan O’Neal, Jimmy Cayne or Dick Fuld. Maybe John Thain can be somehow lured out of Bank of America. All these guys claimed that the problems of their institutions stemmed from some sort of market misbehavior or mispricing. If they really still believe this, they should be all too happy to strap themselves to the mast of the good ship Citi Holdings and sail away towards the dreamed of profitability.
But we’re open to more serious suggestions. Who do you think should run Citi’s mutant offspring?