Who We'd Cast In A General Petraeus-Themed Movie

Paula Broadwell Christina RicciSee which celebrities we think should play the real life stars of the General Petreaeus scandal.

The sex scandal that brought former Gen. David Petraeus’ illustrious public service career to a screeching halt last week continues to unfold with new, juicy details.The cast of characters — including a Florida socialite, a clueless co-author and a NATO commander — keeps expanding, and it’s almost too good not to be the creation of some Hollywood screenwriter.

 

General David Petraeus

Gen. David Petraeus could probably woo three times as many young, ambitious biographers in his dapper tuxedo ...

Daniel Craig as General David Petraeus

... which is why Daniel Craig, Mr. James Bond himself, should play him in Hollywood's take on the D.C. sex scandal.

Paula Broadwell

The disgraced former CIA director's mistress was his biographer, Paula Broadwell, whose taut physique and slender build reportedly made her the envy of many a woman at diplomatic cocktail functions ...

Christina Ricci as Paula Broadwell

... so the svelte Christina Ricci would be the perfect casting option to play Petraeus's paramour. Plus, they have comparable foreheads, just sayin'.

Jill Kelley

The plot of the scandal got murkier when it came out that a military party-planning liaison in Tampa, wealthy socialite Jill Kelley, complained to the FBI after Broadwell started sending her nasty, anonymous emails ...

Monica Bellucci as Jill Kelley

Kelley's ritzy swagger would be well-played by Italian supermodel and actress Monica Bellucci. See the resemblance?

Frederick W. Humphries II

The FBI agent Kelley contacted to trace the threatening emails was Frederick W. Humphries II, who allegedly exchanged some shirtless pics with her. Now, when it comes to bare chests, who is better fit for the role than ...

Matthew McConaughey as Frederick W. Humphries II

... Matthew McConaughey! Need we say more?

General John Allen

But just as we all thought enough military officials were embroiled in the scandal, Gen. John Allen, the guy in charge of NATO forces in Afghanistan, was outed for apparently exchanging thousands of 'beyond flirtatious' emails with Kelley, too!

Liam Neeson as General John Allen

So 'Taken' star Liam Neeson would be perfect to play the military commander. Who else would be so bold?

Holly Petraeus

And lest we forget the woman in the background of this mess: Mrs. Holly Petraeus ...

Julianna Margulies as Holly Petraeus

... 'The Good Wife' star Julianna Margulies could play the good wife that stood by the canoodling commander.

Vernon Loeb

Vernon Loeb, the Washington Post editor that ghost-wrote Broadwell's glowing Petraeus biography, plays a minor role. But with his ringside view of the affair, which he says he was 'dumbfounded' to discover, he deserves a few scenes played by ...

Viggo Mortensen

... Viggo Mortensen! The 'Eastern Promises' star could really rock the role of a staid, if clueless, newspaperman, sceptical of the 'close access' his co-author had with the general.

Daniel Craig could play Gen. Petraeus in a movie, but right now he's busy being Bond...

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