White House Has The Perfect Response When Asked About Making Tim Howard Secretary Of Defence

During Tuesday’s World Cup match, U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard had so much success blocking shots that someone named him the new Secretary of Defence on Wikipedia.

It turns out, however, that the White House isn’t prepared to replace current Secretary of Defence Chuck Hagel with Howard just yet.

“I don’t have any personnel announcements to make,” Press Secretary Josh Earnest said Wednesday after a reporter asked “if the White House had anything to do” with the Wikipedia change.

Earnest’s initial response was, word-for-word, exactly what the White House press secretary always says when asked more serious questions about speculation surrounding major cabinet picks.

Earnest nevertheless predicted Hagel would have nothing but admiration for Howard’s “ability to repel an opponent’s attacks.”

“Unfortunately I can’t claim credit for that brilliant idea that was manifested on Wikipedia,” Earnest said. “But I think even Secretary Hagel would agree with me that Tim Howard demonstrated an ability to repel an opponent’s attacks with remarkable courage and bravery and athleticism yesterday.”

For what it’s worth, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales called the prank “exquisite.”

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