When Mack The Knife Met Mitsubishi

So what do you think happened when John Mack sat down to dinner last night with the top executives of Mitsubishi UJF, the Japanese bank that agreed to buy 20% of Morgan Stanley for $9 billion? We would have love to have been a fly in the soup for that meeting. Instead, all we have is our imagination.

John Mack: “Konbanwa, gentlemen. I am very pleased we are together on this happy and auspicious occassioin.”

Mit Exec: “Konbanwa. Pardon my rudeness, but who are you?”

Mack: “Pardon mine. I am John Mack, the CEO of Morgan Stanley.”

Mit Exec #1: “There seems to be a misunderstanding. Where is Jamie Dimon?”

Mit Exec #2: “Shall we wait for Mr. Dimon?”

Mack: “Uh. Uhm. He’s not with my firm, Morgan Stanley. He’s with JP Morgan.”

Mit Exec #2: “JP Morgan is not Morgan Stanley?”

Mack: “We’ve been different companies for several decades. In fact…”

Mit Exec #2: “So you thought you could have our $9 billion because you work for a bank that sounds like JP Morgan?”

Mit Exec #1: “Mr. Mack, will you excuse us from the table? We have to make a few phone calls.”

Exit Mitsubishi executives, stage right. John Mack picks up steak knife. Drives it downward into the table.

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