This Is The Key To Being More Influential

dinner, friends, restaurant

Photo: Flickr / fensterbme

The key to being liked and being more influential is similarity.

  • You like names better when they are similar to yours. You even prefer brands that merely share your initials. Birthdays are easier to remember when they are closer to yours. You even prefer people who move the way you do.
  • Demonstrating that you have something in common with someone else makes them more likely to help you. Salesmen deliberately fake little similarities in order to influence you and connect with you. And it works.
  • Out and out mimicking people (but not obviously) causes them to like you more and to act more kind. On dates, when women mimic men the guys are more interested. Mimicry makes you a better negotiator.
  • Improving listening skills is a matter of little more than repeating what people just said. The first words you should say in a negotiation are anything very similar to what the person on the other side of the table just said.
  • Opposites do not usually attract. You’re much more likely to be attracted to, have a happy marriage with or just be friends with someone similar to you. You seek out friends who are similar to you. Similarity only increases marginally post-friendship. When you ask people they say they want a romantic partner that is complementary but in reality they pick someone who is similar. The single strongest predictor of marital well-being is perceived similarity.

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