These Are The 11 Most Bizarre Products Hammacher Schlemmer Is Selling This Month

hammacher schlemmer

Every few weeks, the Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue bestows a new, often ridiculous, invention upon the world: the dog dung vacuum, the deep frying portable grill, the hovercraft.The 164-year-old company claims to be the longest continuously published catalogue in the U.S. and has a circulation exceeding 30 million.

While the luxury shopping guide’s history is impressive, sometimes the products it shills are not.

They have funny names, funny purposes, but very serious prices.

The Hands Free Hair Rejuvenate

It also keep the CIA from reading your thoughts.

'Plugs into AC. One size fits all.'

Price: $699.95

The Classic Manual Typewriter

'This is the classic manual typewriter reminiscent of those used by Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, and Jack Kerouac to create their classic literary works ... This typewriter also proves invaluable for addressing envelopes, creating labels, or filling out forms--simple tasks that can be confounding with a computer printer.'

Hate to break it to you, but if you're buying your typewriter from Hammacher Schlemmer, you probably aren't the next Hemingway.

Price: $119.95

The Portable Chair And Pet Quarters

'Pet compartment allows a dog to stand, turn around, and lounge in comfort.'


Can also be used on unruly toddlers at tailgates.

Price: $99.95

The Truck Driver's Pressure Relieving Cushion

Non-truck drivers need not apply.

Price: $99.95

The Canine Treadmill

Because let's face it, your dog is fat.

Price: ranges from $549.95 to $899.95

The LED Matrix Watch

For people who never want to know what time it is.

Price: $129.95

The Child Piloted Tumbler

'Newtonian physics provides the physical comedy.'

Now your kid can be just like a hamster.

Price: $79.95

The Water And Light Lawn Show

'Transforming a lawn into an effervescent water and light show.'

Price: $49.95

The Escape Preventing Dog Harness.

No explanation needed.

Price: $29.95

Her Majesty's Umbrella

Hammacher Schlemmer still isn't done milking the Royal Wedding craze.

'This is the umbrella favoured by Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth II when she ventures outdoors in public during inclement weather.'

Royal hat is sold separately.

Price: $49.95

The Ranger's Evaporative Cooling Hat

Speaking of hats, here's one that responds well to running water.

Price: $29.95

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