Every few weeks, the Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue bestows a new, often ridiculous, invention upon the world: the dog dung vacuum, the deep frying portable grill, the hovercraft.The 164-year-old company claims to be the longest continuously published catalogue in the U.S. and has a circulation exceeding 30 million.
While the luxury shopping guide’s history is impressive, sometimes the products it shills are not.
They have funny names, funny purposes, but very serious prices.
It also keep the CIA from reading your thoughts.
'Plugs into AC. One size fits all.'
'This is the classic manual typewriter reminiscent of those used by Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, and Jack Kerouac to create their classic literary works ... This typewriter also proves invaluable for addressing envelopes, creating labels, or filling out forms--simple tasks that can be confounding with a computer printer.'
Hate to break it to you, but if you're buying your typewriter from Hammacher Schlemmer, you probably aren't the next Hemingway.
'Pet compartment allows a dog to stand, turn around, and lounge in comfort.'
Can also be used on unruly toddlers at tailgates.
'Newtonian physics provides the physical comedy.'
Now your kid can be just like a hamster.
'Transforming a lawn into an effervescent water and light show.'
Hammacher Schlemmer still isn't done milking the Royal Wedding craze.
'This is the umbrella favoured by Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth II when she ventures outdoors in public during inclement weather.'
Royal hat is sold separately.
Speaking of hats, here's one that responds well to running water.
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