12 Bizarre Ways To Get In Trouble At Your Wall Street Job

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Some people get flack at their jobs for taking too many days off, or perpetually coming in late. Those things are common, so when they happen no one bats an eye.

There are other people, however, who get in huge trouble (or even fired) at their jobs for seriously bizarre reasons. On Wall Street, those incidents become legend — the stories get passed around trading floors, become lessons for newbies, and if we’re lucky, get leaked to the media.

Business Insider collected a dozen ways that Wall Streeters have gotten in some seriously hot water in the workplace.

Take note. Seriously.

Bringing an inappropriate item such as a fake grenade to work

It's probably not the best idea to order something that resembles an explosive and have it sent to your office.

EXAMPLE: Last April, a Nomura employee had a UPS package sent to the office containing a novelty grenade on wooden plaque with a sign reading 'Complaint Department: Please Take a Number,' sent to the office.

The object was discovered during a routine screening causing parts of World Financial 2 to be evacuated on initial fears that it might be a real explosive.

It was later determined to be a fake grenade, but the bank placed the employee on administrative leave for bringing an 'inappropriate item' to work.

Source: Bloomberg News

Bitching about your bank on Facebook

Be careful who you're friends with at work on Facebook. Also, be careful with what you post on the social networking site.

EXAMPLE: An RBS employee was fired without compensation after one of her co-workers told their boss about some Facebook statuses she posted.

After Kate Furlong read an article saying RBS would axe around 3,500 jobs, she posted, ''I speak for myself when I say WoOOOOooooOooooHOoooOooOoo' it was pretty damn obvious something like this was coming. I'm neither stupid nor naive ... and quite honestly it is the best news ever as far as I am concerned!''

Source: UK Parents Lounge

Mooning your boss at the office

Don't expect to keep your job after showing your boss your naked rear-end.

EXAMPLE: Back in 2005, Chicago-based investment banker Jason Selch was fired and forfeited his $2 million partnership when he mooned his bosses.

At the time, Selch was an employee with Wagner Asset Management when it merged with Columbia Asset Management, a subsidiary of BofA.

Shortly after the merger, Selch learned that a friend of his had been fired for not accepting lower compensation with Columbia.

This really ticked him off, so he went into the conference room where some execs, New York-based COO Roger Sayler and Chicago-based CIO Charles McQuaid, were meeting and asked if he had a non-compete agreement. He did not.

That's when he dropped his pants and mooned his superiors and told Sayler he hoped he would never return to Chicago.

Selch was eventually fired and he ended up suing the firm, but an Illinois appeals court said last month he deserved to be fired.

From the judge's ruling:

'Plaintiff violated the rules and regulations in the (employee) handbook by behaving in a disruptive, unruly and abusive manner - 'mooning' Sayler and McQuaid and informing Sayler that he was not welcome in that office and that plaintiff hoped he would never return to the Chicago office - that also may be considered obscene behaviour.'

Source: Courthouse News

Taking cell phone pictures inside the bank and putting them on social media sites

EXAMPLE: Last summer, a bunch of Instagram photos taken inside the big Wall Street banks were published in a slideshow for NY Mag.

Business Insider learned that some of those who took pictures got heat from their managers because they're not supposed to take photos inside their firms.

We've heard from our Wall Street sources that it's a big no-no to take pictures, especially of the trading floors.

Source: Business Insider

Asking the Bloomberg help function for a good strip club

Asking for a good strip club, even if it's just a joke, is never a good idea at work.

EXAMPLE: In 2010, during a Bloomberg Terminal training session at an American investment bank in the U.K., a young bank recruit was goofing around with the help option and asked the Bloombot, 'Where's a good strip club?' among other inappropriate questions for work.

According to the London Evening Standard, Bloomberg told the young banker's employer and he was subsequently fired.

Source: The London Evening Standard

Getting absolutely tanked and destroying your co-workers cubicle

Being drunk at work is never a good idea and neither is coming into the office smashed to tear up a co-worker's desk over the weekend.

EXAMPLE: Back in 2010, a second year tech analyst at Credit Suisse was said to be fired after he drunkenly trashed one of his co-worker's cubicles over a weekend.

That's the bank's property, not yours.

Source: DealBreaker

Having a mental breakdown so awful that your parents have to take you to work.

EXAMPLE: One poor analyst was so burnt out weeks of work with no end, he had a break down so brutal his parents had to take him to work.

The bank was shorthanded too. The analyst begged people to take on some of his work but no one would. Eventually, right before his team was going to get an extra hand, the analyst lost it. He was late to work and no one knew were he was until he showed up with his parents.

They said the analyst hadn't sleep all weekend. As they explained, he went to his desk and kept murmuring gibberish and slamming his mouse and head on the keyboard.

He was never back again. See the full story here.

Being caught on TV looking a nude pics of a chick on the trading floor

EXAMPLE: This Macquarie banker in the background, who was identified as David Kiely, got in trouble when he got caught on video looking at pictures of models, while someone was doing a TV hit on interest rates.

Source: Here Is The City

Sending other companies 'lewd e-mails' from your work account.

EXAMPLE: A banker at the Bank of Ireland was fired after another company complained about receiving e-mails from him that were totally inappropriate. The banker admitted that he sent the e-mails (titled 'Adult Funnies,' another 'Tsunami') but he said the bank didn't follow proper procedures when they fired him.

Source: Irish Independent

Urinating all over your bosses designer shoes

EXAMPLE: A British banker confessed on Here Is The City a few years ago that he developed a 'weak bladder' from too much coffee on the job and frequently went to the bathroom. Eventually, the banker's boss started to use a stopwatch to time him.

The banker eventuall cracked. He writes:

He'd got me on the run, and was winning the psychological war. I went to see my doctor, and he told me to just stop drinking coffee. But I knew that if I did, I'd drown under the sea of work my boss was piling up on top of me. In the end, I cracked. To my undying shame, I did the unthinkable. When my boss followed me into the toilet that very last time, I turned round and urinated all over his designer shoes. I was fired later that very day'.

Ejaculating into your co-workers water bottle.

EXAMPLE: Back in 2010, Northwestern Mutual Finance Network employee Michael Keven Lallana ejaculated not once, but twice, into one of his female co-worker's water bottles, which she drank from.

He was sentenced to six months in jail and three years probation and had to pay more than $27,000 in restitution.

Pooping on/near the trading floor.

EXAMPLE: One Merrill Lynch banker, upset about his bonus, showed his rage by pooping on the floor or in the bathroom near the trading floor and then smearing it on the walls. We're not sure because the details here are messy. Merrill called the event an 'unfortunate accident' in one of the stalls. So it's possible that though there was poop found on the trading floor, it was just tracked in by an unfortunate bystander.

Source: Dealbreaker

Sometimes you don't even have to be an employee to feel like you're in trouble...

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