Hounded By UK Press, Injured Wayne Rooney Seeks Asylum At Niketown

Wayne Rooney

Photo: Wikimedia Commons – Gordon Flood

2010 FIFA Player of the Year Wayne Rooney has fled England for the U.S. in order to get a week of “intensive conditioning” at Nike’s Oregon headquarters, the Guardian reportsManchester United coaches said they urged their striker to escape the spotlight by leaving the country, as he rehabs from a ankle injury. Nike is the biggest sponsor of both Rooney and the entire Man U. empire.

The pair are so entwined, a United spokesperson even referred to Nike’s sports science experts as “our medical team”

However, the move makes little sense logistically, considering that “Fortress Carrington” – the club’s 108-acre training facility – is state of the art. Instead of hiding behind the miles of fences and hundreds of thousands of trees at the facility, he’ll travel thousands of miles to hide behind a sponsor instead.

Rooney has been skewered by the British media ever since he announced his intentions to leave Manchester United – only to sign a five-year contract with the club three days later. That contract is believed to be among the most lucrative in the history of sports.

There’s also the matter of his affection for drinking, smoking, and soliciting prostitutes. Fans have even burned Rooney in effigy.

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