The Wackiest White House Petitions To Get Off The Ground

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Photo: The Daily Show

How many signatures could you get in three days on a petition to outlaw navel lint?How about a proposal to let Herman Cain host Saturday Night Live?

If you thought at least 150 Americans would endorse an attempt to name Velveeta the official cheese of New Jersey, you’d be surprised to know how many serious White House petitions haven’t gotten that far.

Here’s a collection of 10 earnest petitions on — some interesting, others disgusting — that have been in circulation for at least three days without collecting 150 signatures.

That’s the minimum number required before the Obama administration will add a petition to the website for the public to see.

This may be the only place you’ll ever see them, but the White House hasn’t deleted any of them — even though a few will make you want to take a shower after reading them. (#1 is wrong on so, so many levels.)

So if any of these ideas tickles your fancy, you might want to add your signature. Along with just a few dozen of your new friends.

10. Draft a proposal to have the USA and the Russian Federation joined into a military and economic union

9. This petition is for the Polyamorous to be allowed to be recognised as legal relationships within the United States

7. Proclaim the National Musical Instrument to be the Guitar

5. Implement single-payer Medicare for all

4. Stop the USPS from perpetual bankruptcy as a result of prefunding its retirement program

3. recognise the cryptid species known as Bigfoot as an endangered species in the United States of America

2. Raise capital gains tax on high-profit investments; treat it like income tax

1. STOP White Genocide through halting MASSIVE non-white immigration into EVERY white country and ONLY white countries

And what about America's latest big petition?

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