Photo: The Paige Group
The great privilege of living in New York City comes, most unfortunately, with summers that can feel like a packed sauna in hell.That is why, from the City Island to Coney Island, kids from all different backgrounds bust open fire hydrants, chase ice cream trucks, and head to the pool.
That’s what kids do.
Wall Streeters, however, are adults. That means they can go to the Hamptons. In fact it means they must go to the Hamptons.
However one rule must be kept in mind — even if you just arrived in New York from a successful hedge fund in Singapore or Hong Kong. Even if you’re just a first year analyst from OnlyLordKnowsWhere, Kansas — you cannot look like a Hamptons newbie.
Enter Brian Mazza and Matt Shendell, the gentleman’s Gentlemen behind luxe sports bar The Ainsworth and the secret bespoke suit shop underneath it, Windsor Custom. These nightlife kings are here to help, and since they also happen to own Southampton hotspot, The Southampton Social Club, they have valuable information to share on how to make your Hamptons experience as smooth as possible.
Read closely, even the vets can learn something here.
For this season, Mazza and Shendell are staying in Watermill because its centrally located -- easy to get to any party.
For those who want to stay in one place but still be in the middle of action, Southampton is a great choice. Montauk (on the island's farthest point) or Shelter Island (reached only by ferry) are both remote but worth the trip.
While the red Hawaiian-flower patterned, cargo swim trunks you wore at Spring Break in Cabo San Lucas are... charming, they won't do in the Hamptons.
If you're shopping on the island, Mazza and Shendell recommend Sunbarth, a St. Bart's based boutique located on 53 Jobs Lane in Southampton. They carry the Orlebar Brown and Sundek labels which you can find at retailers like Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom and Barneys online/in the city.
Ladies, this is for the Gentlemen.
Gentlemen, take note of the red shorts to your right.
According to Brian Mazza, fitted shorts and chinos in bright colours (emerald green, purple, navy, and red) are all the rage right now. Wear them right above or just to the knee. You can find great pairs at Theory, J. Crew or Michael Bastian.
As for pants with lobsters and whales on them -- 'I personally don't like it,' says Matt Shendell, 'but if you feel comfortable, go for it.'
There is no public transportation in the Hamptons and the hot spots are quite spread out. You will be at those hot spots (obviously) and as we're responsible adults, we cannot encourage drinking and driving. If you're sharing a house, split a driver with your roommates. Very easy.
There's also a style advantage here. As Matt Shendell points out, there's no better way to enter or leave a club than with your own driver -- blast your music, roll with your crew.
Some unlucky New Yorkers do not get summer Fridays. Our hearts bleed for them.
These poor souls end up arriving into the Hamptons late. That means, for the whole island, Friday dinner is pushed back to around 10:30 or 11:00 pm.
Mazza and Shendell told Business Insider that their restaurant, The Southampton Social Club doesn't get packed until around that time -- but it does get packed. So if you want to check out who's around for the weekend when everyone is out, save your self some embarrassment and make a reservation beforehand.
You don't want to look like you don't know that some beaches are superior to others. That will out you as a Hamptons virgin in about 5 seconds.
Mazza and Shendell like Westhampton beach.
Gurney, in Montauk, they say, is beautiful, but it's a trek.
Southampton beach, they note, is definitely underrated.
You're in the Hamptons. You will go to a polo match. You will love the polo match.
If horses and big sticks really aren't your speed, head to a charity event. They throw some killer parties (and you're doing good for others, and so forth). Shendell and Mazza suggest events thrown by Hedge Fund Cares and Love Heals.
There are tons of art events too, so keep your eyes peeled for those as well.
Shendell tells Business Insider that in the last 5-6 years more people have been day partying in the Hamptons. Hard.
(Think: barbecues, pool parties and what not.)
The last thing you want to be is that guy who fell in the pool, got dragged into the house, and woke up alone in the middle of the night while everyone else was dancing on tables and drinking champagne at the club.
That guy is a disgrace, so pace yourself.
Oh, and if you happen to be hosting one of these parties, Shendell and Mazza recommend grabbing snacks and supplies at Schmidt's Deli.
Sometimes you pack in a hurry and forget things. If that happens, suicide is not your only option. The Hamptons are full of great stores. Ladies, check out the Diane von Furstenberg in Southampton to your right.
If that's not enough for you there's a Scoop in East Hampton and a Ralph Lauren in Southampton.
Just because you're at the beach, doesn't mean you have to eat like a Philistine.
Naturally, Mazza and Shendell recommend their restaurant Southampton Social Club (to be fair, they're not the only ones that give it the thumbs up).
Other stand-outs include Red Bar, Bobby Van's Steak House, and Sunset Beach.
If you haven't passed out at this point, or you don't have another party to go to, load up your crew and go to the club. You're probably tired, but you'll thank us later.
In the Hamptons, it is likely that your favourite restaurant has a nightlife component (Sunset Beach and Southampton Social Club both do). Mazza and Shendell alos recommend Ruschmeyer's Hotel in Montauk.
Also in Montauk: Swallow East, Surf Lodge, and Banzai Burger.
Southampton has The Capri, SL East, and newcomer Nammos Estiatorio, just to name a few.
No one messes with tradition in the Hamptons, so bring your Tide Bleach stick and stay away from red wine because you're going to a white party.
Ladies, you know what to do. Gentleman, Mazza gave us the rundown. Go with white denim, and a fitted light coloured button down, do an accent belt in a summer colour (peach, blue etc.). Wear loafers, they can be blue if you're into that -- remember, everyone likes Ferragamo. If it's chilly out, thrown in a nice cashmere/cable knit sweater in a light colour.
Nothing is idiot proof, and while this slideshow has given a ton of helpful hints, it wouldn't be complete if we didn't give you a few examples of how others have made fools of themselves on what was supposed to be a lovely weekend get-away.
In short, these are the don'ts (via Mazza and Shendell):
- Flip-flops are for the beach. Do not pair them with jeans or (even more wretched) white linen pants.
- Don't bring your baggy cargo shorts. In fact, burn them.
- Buy a summer blazer, wearing a heavy blazer in the heat makes you look confused.
- Do not wear you collar over your blazer. Just do not.
- When you're wearing said blazer, tuck your shirt in. If you don't, you'll look like the only homeless person in the Hamptons.
That said, just please, please, have a wonderful time.