Photo: This Ain’t Hell
My co-blogger TSO writes that he has arrived in Afghanistan and that he’s in a bunker that smells like arse.I reported last week that he was deploying with the 3rd Expeditionary Sustainment Command from Fort Knox, Kentucky.
Here’s TSO’s fresh, unfiltered report from the ‘Stan:
So I land at Kandahar Air Field (KAF) and we head over to check in. Dude gives the “Welcome to War” speech and then goes into the does and don’ts of KAF.
Wear your PT belt, eye protection at all time, rockets bad, sex bad, beer bad etc. So the guy gives the spiel about rockets and when the siren goes off you lay on the ground and cover your head with your hands. (Little known fact, fingernails stop 107′s.)
So right after the dude finishes this, the siren goes off. Headhunter and I assumed it was some ridiculous role playing nonsense and gave each other the “this is gay” look and get down. Well, turns out a) it was a real one, and b) we were in a bunker and didn’t need it, so there goes any potential cool points.
After the room turns into a sauna of arse, the all clear comes and we head out with this female medic who is going to drive us over to the place where we draw room keys. No sooner do we get to the car than the siren goes again. Some of the dudes get down, Headhunter says “eff this” and I just crawled in the back of the vehicle.
So, we wait like a minute, and run back to the aforementioned, and still arse-stank ridden bunker building. Some E4 chick from somewhere like SC is talking nonstop, and we are trying to figure out how we can dispose of her body here in front of all these people because she’s riding our last nerve, we haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and are exhausted.
1/2 hour later the all clear comes, we pack back in the vehicle and head out to the housing. So Headhunter goes in with other folks to draw keys and I stay and talk to the medic. No sooner do we start talking than Air Raid nonsense iteration 3 goes off.
I should interject that it is this obnoxious sound, followed by what seems to be a Hong Kong female national telling us that rockets are inbound or something.
I guess the yyeeeee hawwwww, yeeeee hawwww noise isn’t enough of a clue.
So I amble over to the bunker, taking my sweet arse time, because I am old and tired. Headhunter finally comes out and tells me about what happened inside the building. Apparently the siren went off and all the new dicks hit the turf, per the instruction from an hour ago. In walks a squad of infantry guys with dirt still on their gear and with a tarp, and the LT leading them looks at all the squishes laying on the ground and goes “What’s up guys?”
Moral of the story, I’m not friggin ducking and running anymore.
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