Below is a video (via SportsGrid) in which a Cleveland Browns season ticket holder narrates a letter he wrote to the team in response to their request for his annual deposit for tickets.
In the letter, the fan decides he does not want to pay full price for the preseason games (“50 cents per seat is a more than adequate price to watch fourth string walk-ons from Mt. Union”), doesn’t want to pay at all for the final two regular season games (“[anybody can get tickets] in exchange for two camel menthol cigarettes”), and rather than include the remainder of his money owed, he demands the team’s “patience and loyalty.”
Alas, Mike Polk Jr. is a comedian from Cleveland, so the letter is (probably) not real. Still, if you have ever been a season ticket holder, there was probably a time you wanted to write this exact same letter…
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