Photo: Grace Wyler/Business Insider
The most highly-anticipated seminar on Thursday’s CPAC schedule is definitely the Tea Party’s lesson in conservative dating.The mysterious seminar, which popped up on the schedule recently, is hosted by Wayne “Juggler” Elise, a “commercial pick-up artist” and former street performance artist.
According to Elise, conservatives have a harder time getting dates than liberals because “liberals already have a reputation for being fun — we have to be fun without smoking pot.”
So without further ado, here are the rules of conservative dating:
- Be specific i.e. “I want a tall redhead, who is a psychologist.” According to Elise, “people tend to try to cast too much of a wide net. But they’re not memorable. When you’re not memorable, you don’t get what you want.”
- Talk about your weaknesses. If you don’t make fun of yourself, no one will get to know you. [Sidenote: This is good news for liberals who want to date conservatives.]
- Don’t ask leading questions.
- If someone asks you what you do for a living, don’t fall for it. It means they are uncomfortable with the conversation, or bored. The correct response is “Do you really care or are just asking?”
- Ask feeling questions — Instead of asking “How was CPAC?” ask “How did CPAC make you feel?”
- Grassroots organise while on a date — “talk to people around you and bring them in. It shows your social value.”
- For women specifically: Be assertive.
UPDATE: Things got really interesting in the Q&A portion of the seminar.
Here are some of the highlights:
Q: What is the best place is to take a conservative on a date? Someone in the audience volunteers: “The Gun Club.”
Q: [From Huffington Post reporter Sam Stein] How does sex complicate things? Answer from Elise: “I think it’s good to be sexual earlier.”
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