Maybe they do things differently in Brazil, but Saõ Paulo based ad agency Z+ has eschewed the ad world’s preference for short copy and written a 936-word ad for Prudence condoms. (Below)
Ignoring the bordering on sexist adage that copy should be like a woman’s skirt “long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to make it interesting,” Z+ has written an unequivocally sexist, rambling advertisement that reads like a how-to guide for date rapists.
The concept of the advertisement is that a man is trying to get a woman to unlock the bathroom door and have sex with him. His “persuasion” tactics are so manipulative that if it were us, we’d probably break out through the bathroom window.
In case you want to skip the epic, which we’ve attached below, here’s our summary:
- Woman has locked herself in the bathroom after her date/boyfriend/gentleman caller tried to jump her–she must be on her period. Bathroom performance anxiety? “What? You’re not constipated? Then what?”
- Ohhh she just doesn’t want to have sex with you. Not possible.
- Our narrator continues, “Things were getting more interesting… I beg your pardon? That’s why you locked yourself in the bathroom? That’s what you do when things are getting more interesting? Do you do this when you’re watching a movie that’s not so good and then, suddenly, there’s a twist and it gets better?” (Yes… the twist is his penis).
- Then, working with the assumption that she was just afraid of his epically sized genitalia, the male narrator goes on to compare his junk to the scary but loveable King Kong, “And it’ll be much easier for you than it was for her—it doesn’t measure up to King Kong’s, ha, ha, ha!” All better!
Nothing is sexier than pressuring a woman who doesn’t want to have sex with you and then referencing bestiality!
If you’re going to write a thousand word ad, it might as well be good.
In spite of the visual of a tape measure next to the sprawling copy and the exclamation, “For those whose power of persuasion is as big as”… we’re pretty sure that the guys at Z+ and Prudence condoms were overcompensating for something.
Photo: Prudence Condoms
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