Photo: j.o.h.n. walker
Awful roommates are the worst.We’ve all been there. Maybe they ate your food, took your clothes, or were so dirty your apartment began to resemble a landfill.
Whatever the case may be, horrible roommates are just bad. So bad in fact, hundreds of people took to Reddit to share their roommate horror stores.
The stories range from stolen alcohol, angry wives, and a very particular view of karma.
What are your awful roommate stories? Let us know in the comments.
'I had a roommate who did the following:
- She believed in some sort of arse-backwards karma system where if she did something good for a stranger, that would allow her to take something from one of us. For example, if she helped an associate move a heavy piece of furniture, that meant that she should be able to get away with not buying any groceries for a full month because 'she learned it by helping her friend with moving furniture.
- She once drank an entire bottle of alcohol in one sitting, vomited all over the couch, and then left for a week's vacation the next day leaving the furniture reeking of vomit.'
'When I sleep on my back, I snore. This usually isn't a problem because I've trained myself to sleep on my side, but .01% of the time I accidentally roll onto my back. I warned her about this, and told her to throw a pillow at me to wake me up and roll onto my side.
I was woken up one night by her shaking my shoulder with one hand, and shaking my throat with her other hand. She says she thought it was my other shoulder. I still don't believe her.'
'We stayed in our college apartment over a summer. He got himself a membership to costco. He then proceeds to stock up on massive amounts of junk food: hot pockets, pop tarts, various bulk candy, etc. He also bought two boxes of prepackaged muffins. He then comes home with all of this, and tells me,' Hey man, if you're ever hungry, help yourself.'
Then, he hides EVERYTHING except the muffins. Being self sufficient, at the time, I declined. Later that summer, I decided to take him up on his offer. Out of the 2 dozen or so muffins, I think I must have had 3-4 over the course of as many days. A few days later, I am awoken at 6am to him freaking out that I ate too many muffins! I pay him $10 to shut him up. Two days later, in the pantry, I find a tupperware container FULL of muffins. This was no ordinary container though. He drilled the hand-holds on each side and put two masterlock locks on it. Left it there for me to find. I called him 'Muffins' to his face until the time I moved out.'
'About 6 years ago... met a friend of my gf's (at the time), he needed a place to stay, and he seemed legit. After a couple of months, I learned he never finished high school, and during the 2 months he managed to get fired from 4 different retail jobs for stealing.
About 4 months into the lease, he just up and disappears. He didn't have a cell phone, he never called, no note, nothing...
2 weeks later, as I'm reading the paper, under the police activity section, I see his name. It was almost like it was highlighted. The kid got arrested for molesting his 7 year old step-sister. He still owes me 3 months rent, too.'
'My friend had this real shifty roommate that was always in his room or not in the house, real dirty and he was starting to think that he had some mental problems. One day he came home and figuring that his roommate was home he called out his name 'Kevin!....Kevin!'
Hears no response directly he hears some noise in the unfinished basement. He goes down into the basement where there's cement floor, washer and dryer, and very little to no natural light coming in. He goes down the stairs and tries to turn on the lights but nothing happens, moves over to the light in the centre of the room, there is broken glass on the floor from a smashed lightbulb in the fixture above him.
All of a sudden comes my friends roommate out of the dark corner of the room with a knife, STABS him in the stomach and side. My friend wrestles the knife from the guy and makes it up the stairs and out of the house. This is before cell phones so he has to go to neighbours house to call cops.
Turns out bad roomie was going schizophrenic and having a psychotic break.'
'My former bandmates shared a house with me. The drummer, also a heavy chewing tobacco user, turned me onto Rainier pounders (the beers in the little dark brown bottles). We got into those Rainier beers so heavily for a while that the little brown bottles ended up laying around everywhere on every flat surface.
My amplifier was positioned close enough to his drum kit that the flat surface it afforded became home to a number of empty bottles next to where my current fresh beer sat, blending in with the other bottles of identical appearance. Forgetting which bottle was which, and naive to the drummer's clandestine habits, I took a large chug of his putrid, refused saliva that had been fermenting for weeks.'
'I had a roommate that was a sociopath. He was a great guy when he needed something from you, but the second you weren't somehow an immediate use for him, he put effort into causing trouble. When we first moved in we got along great, as he started dating a neighbour his priorities shifted. He'd put a cd in on repeat once I had gone to bed and leave for his girlfriends place. He pulled that twice and permanently ruined smashing pumpkins for me.
As he moved most of his stuff to his new girlfriends place, he told a friend and a guy he had never met that they could move in. He had a pet iguana that he lost interest in so I am saddled with a lizard and two roommates that aren't paying bills. I gave away the iguana and had the manager move out the roommates. He responded back by turning up the heat, closing the windows and spreading chocolate chips all over the apartment.'
'The two guys I moved in with were pot heads, no big deal. I knew as much before hand. The house was owned by the older of the two, inherited from his mother who had died when he was 17. I met the other one as a co-worker at a job before so that was how I was able to be there. I didn't know them all that well though, but we got along great. Turns out there was a full blown pot growing operation in the basement. They wanted me to live there because I worked a commercial nursery and knew a lot about plants. I could live there rent free and give them advice.'
'I had a female room mate last year. One night I came home with my girlfriend and she was sitting on the couch with her cocaine mirror placed on the living room table--the one I had asked her numerous times not to leave out. As soon as I walked in she said, 'The toilet clogged up, sorry about that.'
I went to the bathroom to see the most horrid sight I've ever seen. Not only had the toilet clogged up and spilled water and shit everywhere, but there was period blood smeared all over the toilet seat, and she hadn't even tried to clean any of it up.'
'I had a room mate that would get nude constantly. I am a woman and he is a man and we were never romantically involved, nor did we have a friendship before moving in together. This was more of a desperate measure/strangers come together situation. He loved to do naked jumping jacks...even in front of my boyfriend.'
'I had a roommate who had sex with my then-girlfriend, left the used condom on my pillow, refused to pay rent, and then tried to sue me for 'being antisemitic' when I told him he'd have to move out for not paying rent.
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