“The View” has some wacky segments, but this one really outdid itself.
It was all about how to make your fat husband skinny.
And though she made sure to say she doesn’t think her husband, Tim Hasselbeck, is overweight, Elisabeth Hasselbeck still dragged him out to taste the healthy-substitute foods.
This was the general theory: guys are super stupid, and when they’re distracted with guy things like scratching themselves and watching sports, women can cook up some tricky alternatives to their go-to snacks.
Tips from the segment:
— “Remove the evidence” of healthier substitutes. Toss that packaging, and he’ll never know the difference between a regular burger and a patty filled with zucchini (real example).
— For the beach (when “they’re tired and hot, so you can sneak things on them”), pack his lunch beforehand. “Make him feel guilty! If you packed wraps ahead of time, he’s not going to go to the snack stand.”
— When it comes to his booze, follow Elisabeth’s personal rule: “Beer number one, let him have fun. Beer number three, it’s on me.”
We’ll interpret that rhyme for you: after two beers, she keeps handing Tim light brews. He either a) can’t tell the difference or b) would rather drink the watered-down stuff a lady hands him than get off the couch. Because he’s a guy, remember?
Hey, you know what would probably go over really well? A segment on a male-focused show about how to slim down your cow of a wife.
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