The Steve Ballmer Dream

microsoft steve ballmer

Photo: AP

So, in this dream, er, nightmare I have, I walk into Steve Ballmer’s office back in 2006 and say:”Hi Steve, I gotta talk to you about our tablet strategy.”

“Sure, Scoble, what you thinking about?”

“Well, it sucks. It just isn’t working. Customers aren’t delighted. The market isn’t afire. Our employees are even bored with it.”

“So, what should we do?” he asks.

“We should ship a device that doesn’t run Office. Indeed, doesn’t run any Microsoft application. Doesn’t do multitasking. Doesn’t run Flash. Doesn’t have a camera. Can’t print. Can’t use a Microsoft Mouse or Keyboard, either. Oh, and just to be really revolutionary, we can’t put any of our normal packaging or stickers on the device or around it. Finally, we can’t sell it at Best Buy, but we have to build a new series of stores to distribute it in.”

“What the f*** are you smoking, Scoble? Get the f*** out of here before I call security. That’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard. Ever.”

Then I wake up and realise, no, I’m not Steve Jobs.

This post originally appeared at Scobleizer.


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