It’s Halloween, so a number of you, both Wall Streeters and civilians, will want to go out and have a good time tonight.
So consider this a public service announcement.
New York is a big, bad city with tons of options for entertainment.
And when there’s plenty of choice, that means many of those choices can be… obnoxious.
Wall Street bars are no exception to this rule, in fact, these bars have their own way of being annoying, off-putting, and sometimes gross.
The danger is that ‘Wall Street’ is not a geographical boundary here, these are simply bars that attract Wall Streeters (though they’re generally in Midtown and the Financial District). So anyone could easily stumble into one completely unawares.
To mitigate our own risk, some time ago we surveyed our readers about where Wall Street goes to be their worst selves. Then we did some investigating ourselves.
What did we find? Think: Uber preps, frat-tastic kids just out of college, girls who can’t stop screaming (woooooo!), and music that is banned in most tasteful establishments (Shania Twain anyone?).
Enter these bars at your own peril.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 23 reader write-ins
Location: 52 Stone Street, Financial District
Why is it obnoxious?: Stone Street Tavern spills out into the cobble-stone Financial District Street where Wall Streeters spend warm evenings sipping beers, taking shots, and mingling with their own. Basically, it's like being inside a banker sardine can.
Tip: Yes, it's hectic, but the waitresses will somehow remember your order. Trust us.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 28 reader write-ins
Location: 1 Hanover Square, Financial District
Why is it obnoxious?: Harry's is a Wall Street classic with a Saturday bottomless brunch where Eggs Benedict is made with a pork chop. Day or night, imagine a never ending sea of slick-backs getting sloshed since 1972.
Tip: At night they have very attractive bartenders. Just sayin'.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 13.8%
Location: 43 Park Place, Tribeca
Why is it obnoxious?: Warning: You will find bros in this spot. With $US13 beer buckets at happy hour, a slew of arcade games, and a sign behind the bar that says 'no sissies', you can imagine the dudes that love this place.
Tip: Cash only, people.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious':15.5
Location: 32 Cliff Street, Financial District
Why is it obnoxious?: (See photo) Coyote Ugly style dancers get on the bar periodically. There's also a saddle you can ride swinging from the ceiling. Go for it, if you're into that sort of thing.
Tip: There are props like hula hoops lying around.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 22.6%
Location: 110 Chambers Street, Tribeca
Why is it obnoxious?: Yet another banker hangout where women dance on the bar. The basement is decorated with bras, underwear, plastic crocodiles...
Tip: Awful, awful country music. Think: Shania Twain and Martina McBride.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 25.6%
Location: 1359 First Avenue, Upper East Side
Why is it obnoxious?: How many times can you hear 'Take Me Home Tonight' by Eddie Money or 'Your Love' by The Outfield in one night? Test it, at Session 73. Or don't.
Tip: Hangout for NYC prep school vets home from college.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 29.4%
Location: 127 Fourth Avenue, East Village
Why is it obnoxious?: The problem with this place is that they're kind of a sports bar, yet at night they put up a velvet rope like they're a club. No, somehow that's not a joke.
Tip: Two finance guys convinced management to turn this into a University of Michigan football spot.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 34.5%
Location: 409 West 13th Street
Why is it obnoxious?: It doesn't get more Meatpacking than Kiss and Fly. This club was hot about 10 years ago -- seriously. Yet, every weekend there's still a line out the door filled with revelers from all over the Tri-State area. And yes, there's bottle service.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 36.1%
Location: Too many.
Why is it obnoxious?: This is the place where bros go to convene, mingle, and watch Duke and UNC basketball.
Tip: The sugar hangovers the fishbowl gives you are unreal.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 36.4%
Why is it obnoxious?: Girls in Lilly Pulitzer and guys in Vineyard Vines try to dance to 80s pop songs the rest of humanity is trying to forget. If you're not the type of adult that owns pastel shorts with lobsters embroidered on them, don't bother.
Tip: Known for the 1980s Preppy Murder.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 42.1%
Location: 513 3rd Avenue, Murray Hill
Why is it obnoxious?: The only merciful thing about this bar is that it's dark. Other than that, the place is filled with green 1st year analysts and college kids looking for action (that kind of action). If the music doesn't break you on a weekend night, the fact that its a hot sweaty mess will.
Tip: Stay away from Murray Hill. Always.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 37.9%
Location: 800 2nd Avenue, Midtown East
Why is it obnoxious?: They help plan Bachelorette parties. Need we say more?
Tip: Even if you haven't been to this bar before, you've been to this bar before.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 45%
Location: 727 7th Avenue, Midtown West and 411 3rd Avenue, Murray Hill
Why is it obnoxious?: Not a wrinkled shirt in the house. The Murray Hill location is especially filled with young professionals on the prowl.
Tip: Again, stay away from Murray Hill. Always.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 47.6%
Location: 39 East 58th Street
Why is it obnoxious?: Everything that's horrible about Meatpacking -- the lines, the bottle service, the constructed exclusivity, the woooooooo! girls -- but in Midtown where there's barely anywhere else to run.
Tip: Lavo brunch is wild, and it's also the only decent thing about the place.
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 51%
Location: 230 5th Avenue, Gramercy
Why is it obnoxious?: 230 5th was cool approximately 6-7 years ago, but you know how it is in NYC -- easy come easy go. Now, not even the spectacular view can draw the city's cool kids to the spot. Instead, you'll find feaux bros, tourists, and the very, very disappointed.
Tip: The palm trees are kind of cool...
Readers that rated it 'totally obnoxious': 51.8%
Location: 987 2nd Avenue, Midtown
Why is it obnoxious?: Even if the dollar beers were served in diamond glasses, this place would still be a no-go. Imagine sloppy Tri-State area post-grads stumbling around to 90s pop. They're going to be screaming and they're going to be sweating on you. Likely, there will also be some kind of Bachelorette party going on where attendees are wearing penis-shaped tiaras. If someone offers you a free happy hour, run as fast as you can.
Tip: Do not, under any circumstances, give them your e-mail.
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