The iOS 7 Event For Corporations That Never Happened (But Should Have)

Corporations buy a lot of smartphones and tablets, fleets of them. Until recently, Apple’s success with this huge market was accidental. Employees demanded that their companies buy iPhones and iPads.

But with its iOS 7, the new operating system for Apple’s mobile devices, Apple started to wise up and include a bunch of features that enterprise IT departments really need.

You wouldn’t have known that from Apple’s big splashy launch event. The business-friendly features made a brief appearance on a single slide and whoosh … they were gone.

So, the folks at Moovweb put together an imaginary, satirical iOS 7 event for corporate CIOs. (Moovweb builds mobile websites for retailers like Macys, Men’s Wearhouse, Kay Jewellers, and works closely with iOS.)

Welcome to our coverage of the iOS 7 parody launch event ...

It takes place in a parallel universe.

But the features shown in this parallel-universe are REAL.

We start with the iPhone's new fingerprint sensor.

Freedom from terrible passwords!

Then there's some free apps that are NOT from Microsoft!

No more waiting for Microsoft to put Office on the iPad.

Good news for companies that buy employees apps and books.

What's paid for by the company stays at the company.

Companies can tell employees: 'Bring your own device' (BYOD) ...

Because companies can control the corporate files employees open and share.

Employees can use one password for all their business apps, too.

Employees can't use the corporate network to send personal pictures, videos, files.

IT departments don't have to rewrite their apps to use these features.

iPads and iPhones work better with 'mobile device management' software that tracks and protects devices.

Enterprise Apple is protecting the phone and the data from thieves.

A new GPS-like technology will let you write fancy new apps, too.

We love you, enterprise users!

Now enjoy Elvis Costello ...

Elvis can talk about 'enterprise tech' and make it sound hip.

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