Have your waitresses been getting better looking lately? That might be a sign that the economy will still be troubled for some time.
Hugo Lindgren of New York Magazine explains how the Hot Waitress Index works
The hotter the waitresses, the weaker the economy. In flush times, there is a robust market for hotness. Selling everything from condos to premium vodka is enhanced by proximity to pretty young people (of both sexes) who get paid for providing this service. That leaves more-punishing work, like waiting tables, to those with less striking genetic gifts. But not anymore.
A waitress at one Lower East Side club described to me what happened there: “They slowly let the boys go, then the less attractive girls, and then these hot girls appeared out of nowhere. All in the hope of bringing in more business. The managers even admitted it. These hot girls that once thrived on the generosity of their friends in the scene for hookups—hosting events, marketing brands, modelling—are now hunting for work.” A Soho restaurateur I know recently received applications from “a couple of classic Eastern European fembots. Once upon a time, these ladies must’ve made $1,500 a night lap dancing. At my place, they’re not going to make that in a week.”
This is more than just a real time indicator of our financial health, according to Lindgren. It’s a leading indicator, predicting future performance of our economy. You’ll recall that lots of people think unemployment may not be a lagging indicator this time around. But hotness is even more likely than employment to be an indicator because the hotness market is more flexible than the normal employment market.
“As a commodity that’s fairly cheap, historically effective as a marketing tool, and available on a freelance basis, hotness will likely be back in demand long before your average Michigan autoworker is. Or the rest of us, for that matter,” Lindgren writes.
So take a look around this week. Are your waitresses getting hotter?
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