12 Customer Complaints That Are Too Dumb To Be Real

A recent Reddit thread asked retail employees to reveal their worst customer complaints of all time. 

Here are some of the best answers. 

1. The casino customers evading a loan shark. 

“I used to work security at a casino and a man and woman came up to me and told me there was a man following them. I asked if they knew him and they replied, ‘Yeah he’s the loan shark we borrowed $2500 from 2 weeks ago.'” 

Needless to say they were escorted safely to their car then barred for a year.”dwar0

2. The shoplifter who accused employees of harassment. 

“A guy accused me of harassing him because I kicked him out of the store after the third time he stole from us. He then called the cops…”Merry_Bastard

macy's, shopping

3. The garden customer who was concerned the plants were wet. 

“At a garden centre. “Some of your plants are wet.”ZarquonsFlatTire

3. The customer who didn’t understand what a bank was. 

“I work at a bank inside of a grocery store. The customer was very upset that they couldn’t buy their toilet paper and Doritos at the teller window.”Dardeutschbag

check out line grocery

4. The woman who gave hot wings to her baby. 

“Worked in a sandwich/wing place several years ago. Had a woman order hot wings for delivery. After they were delivered, she called raging that ‘those hot wings made my baby cry!’ The manager politely offered to send her mild instead…”mrszoso

chicken wings

5. The woman who complained about getting more for less. 

“We ran out of medium sized fountain drink cups at the place I work at, so we were giving out large ones instead for the price of a medium. A lady flipped out and demanded that she get the drink for free since it wasn’t the size that she wanted.”might_be_a_bird

mcdonald's cup soda nyc

6. The shareholder who didn’t understand how quarters work. 

“I once had a shareholder complain that they only got their quarterly statement every three months.” –JLSaun

Buffett Munger Berkshire Shareholder

7. The coffee customer who didn’t want foam in their cappuccino. 

“This cappuccino feels like it’s half foam!”erzatzkwisatz

Wikipedia8. The girl who wanted portobello and got mushrooms. 

“I work in a burger joint. One particular evening I had a table of college kids. A blonde girl orders one of our specialty burgers, the ‘portobello and swiss’. a while later I get the food dropped off and when I’m checking back on them the blonde, visibly upset, is demanding a different sandwich. I ask if there’s something wrong and she tells me her burger has mushrooms on it.”ShotRodner

9. The woman who confronted a lifeguard over why her child couldn’t swim in the deep end.

“Lady: ‘Why wont you let my child swim in the deep end?’ Me: ‘Because she cant swim.'”vilwildcats

10. The customer who had no patience for hot food. 

“This food is too hot. I’d like it replaced with cooler food.”markko79

Chicken Rice

11. The woman who wanted gas station workers to pay for her clumsiness. 

“A woman managed to spill gasoline all over herself at the gas station I worked at and demanded we pay for new clothing.”Kowzorz

california gas station

12. The customer who went to an Italian restaurant but didn’t want the cuisine.

“I worked at an Italian Restaurant and received a complaint that we didn’t have a burger and fries option on the menu.” FreeSoloing

italian village restaurant chicago

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