A word of advice: Do not attend holiday party at swanky hotel, get drunk, and proceed to shovel a meat lovers pizza your mouth.
The epic tale below, which is not for the squeamish comes courtesy of The Danza Tap:
A not so sweet recap of a Beaver Creek incident this weekend.
A sales trader from a small boutique in Philly got blown off by one of his “monster prospects”, basically the prospect told him, “Nice to see you, thanks for coming out” “No i don’t want to go skiing with you, but thanks” This obviously put him in a bad mood and pushed him to really drink til he lost control of his senses and bodily functions.
Said sales trader proceeds to mix Wine, Bourbon and beer all the while housing Scallops and every other appetizer in sight. (He started with a Meat Lovers pizza covered in Hot peppers).
A few more hours of drinking and he was in that position where he didn’t want to leave the party but was definitely feeling some anxiety in his GI tract.
He goes to the bathroom at the Park Hyatt, and says it’s “too nice to destroy, I’ll hold it”….Get to the after party at the Billiards Room, the typical scene…120 people crowded around a small rollaway bar….he tries to alleviate the pressure by letting out a little gas. He sharts!
Is so drunk he doesn’t want to go back to his room. Walks to the bathroom, wipes and puts toilet paper in his boxers..comes back to the bar. Let’s a little trickle out again, and the stench starts to permeate the f**king room.
It’s a convention and the entire bar area gets cleared out!! 3 degrees outside and a good 25 people go outside to escape the roving green cloud, and another 45 people just walk out of the room.
One of my guys is trying to close a girl from Goldman, and she thinks he did it. He is not a small guy, and doesn’t appreciate being c**k-blocked by a drunk fat guys arse.
To alleviate the pending violence we get [Mr. Shi**y] back to the Charter and in his room so he can sleep it off. And he ends up taking what must have been the mother of all sh*ts.
He clogged the toilet, was too drunk to realise he needed to pull up the ball in the back of the tank and floods his bathroom. He is now trying to dry the puddles with every towel in his room. All the while he has forgotten to open the flu on his fireplace and smoke is pouring into his room.
Longer story short…Fire company is called out to the hotel, alarms are going off, and people on the bottom floor of The Charter in Building 2 had to be relocated due to the water leaking.
If you need confirmation, and aren’t mentioning names, ask if anyone was relocated out of the Charter for a false fire and/or cleared out of the billiards room party for stench at the bar.
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