Australian cricket has lost the plot

Joe Root celebrates his slips catch to dismiss Mitchell Starc for 1.

It takes skill to lose an Ashes test in the first hour of play, but the Australian batting side demonstrated they were up for the task at Trent Bridge this morning.

England, already 2-1 up in the series, will take the Ashes after their rivals capitulated to opening bowler Stuart Broad to be all out for 60 in just 18.2 overs and less than 90 minutes at the crease.

Broad did most of the damage, finishing with career-best figures of 8/15. The six-man slips cordon set for him kept gratefully accepting edges the Australians kept spooning to them.

Photo: Getty Images

Australia were beyond woeful.

Like U9s on a Saturday morning, extras was the top scorer on 14.

Only the tail end bowlers offered any resistance, with Mitchell Johnson delivering the team’s best innings at 13, before, just like Starc dismissed a few balls earlier in exactly the same fashion, he nicked a Stuart Broad delivery to Joe Root at third slip. Captain Michael Clarke the only other batsman to reach double figures before holing out with an edge to Cook at first slip on 10.

England won the toss and put Australia in.

Chris Rogers lasted just 3 balls before Broad struck, nicking to English captain Alastair Cook. Gone for a duck. Steve Smith managed 3 balls, but at least contributed 10% of the total before sending a Broad delivery to Joe Root and Australia were 2/10 in the first over.

Dave Warner went next after two balls, also for 0. 3/10.

Shaun Marsh lasted 4 balls, edging to second slip for another duck. 4/15 after 2.4 overs.

Adam Voges went for 1 in the fourth, admittedly to a great catch at 5th slip. 5-21 in 4.1 overs.

Australia were 6/29 off 6.1 overs when Clarke gave Cook the catch after 15 balls.

Broad’s five wickets came in just 19 balls. The game was 30 minutes old.

Wicket keeper Peter Nevill built a solid 2 off 15 balls before being bowled by Steven Finn and Australia were 7-33 in the 9th over.

Broad nailed Starc after a 13 run partnership with Johnson to have Australia at 8-46 in the 12th, two balls and 1 run later, Johnson joined him in the pavilion at 9-47.

At least Josh Hazelwood, 4 not out, and Nathan Lyon tried, adding 13 more runs before the spinner became Broad’s 8th wicket adding 9 runs off 20 balls.

At lunch, England’s openers were 0/13 with Cook on 4 and Adam Lyth, 8.

It took Broad just 57 balls to end Australia’s hopes of retaining the Ashes.

Australian fans looking for a glimmer of hope should note that in 1888, Australia scored 60 in the second innings at Lords, but managed to win the test.

It was the team’s worst innings in more than a century.

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