15 Ways Facebook Could Make Money If This Advertising Thing Doesn't Work Out [humour]

mark zuckerberg

Photo: Darren McCollester, Getty Images

It’s Facebook IPO day and you have probably heard a lot regarding Facebook’s advertising.The debate is still on about whether or not Facebook advertising works.

GM says no. Ford says yes. Others say no. It’s complicated.

But don’t worry, Zuck, Business Insider Advertising has come up with some ideas for what Facebook can do if this advertising thing doesn’t work out. It involves real poking, office tours, and hoodies.

It could introduce real pokes.

Facebook's poke feature is something everyone loves, yet no one has an actual use for.

Time to change that.

Want to have some stranger poke one of your Facebook friends in real life -- that will be $0.49.

It could charge for 'Facebook Pro.'

People are addicted to Facebook--charging will decide who really has a problem and who is faking it.

The idea is simple and terrifying to Facebook users, but the social network is apparently already looking into testing paid features in New Zealand and a new report says it is likely to expand to test other paid features.

Going a step further to Facebook Pro and Facebook Lite, i.e. pay for a host of features wouldn't seem too far off.

Pay to post would be the doomsday scenario, but perhaps you want to change your profile pic, that will be five cents.

It could sell your photos.

Facebook users upload a lot of pictures.

Selling photos probably wouldn't generate as much revenue as selling users' data, but it's another pile of potential cash Facebook's users have freely turned over to Zuckerberg & co.

There would be outrage, but tons of pictures from Facebook already turn up in Google Images.

It could blackmail you.

Users' ultimate fear is also a possible revenue stream--what you post on Facebook never goes away.

Want the picture from last night gone? Posted some really mean message to your best friend? Got tagged with your eyes closed?

There's money to be made at every click.

Imagine the bill for every college graduate trying to clean up four years of partying before job interviews.

It could just keep making money off Zynga.

Zynga, makers of Farmville and other web-based video games, already account for 12 per cent of Facebook's revenue.

Fortunately for Facebook, there is a five-year agreement keeping Zynga's transactions exclusive to Facebook, meaning Facebook gets a piece of every single transaction for a long time.

Despite massive revenue, Zynga isn't actually making very much money. Facebook, on the other hand, is making a lot of money off Zynga.

It could bring back old Facebook ... for a price.

Facebook users hate change.

Whether it's Facebook opening up its site to non-students (old people!) or changing to Timeline, its users react, most of the time negatively.

Don't want to change? Want to live in 2007? $5.00 for you to remain a legacy customer.

It could charge for tours.

Someone already paid $70,000 for a single tour. Even at a fraction of that price, Facebook could make a lot of money.

Plus, it's not as if they just have a single office. Facebook could make money across the country.

You could view Facebook's $200 million graffiti installation.

It could finally introduce the Facebook phone.

We've already mentioned what features the Facebook Phone should have, but the long-rumoured device is still not out.

Sources at Microsoft, which is believed to be responsible for the roots of the OS, are still waiting for 'Facebook (to get) serious about phone development.' So it's unclear just when we might see the new phone.

Apple turned the iPhone into $35 billion of profit annually, so there is definitely room to make a lot of money.

It could sell your information.

Even if advertising on Facebook itself never works, the amount of data Facebook has about its users and their lifestyles is an absolute gold mine.

Third parties ranging from advertisers to potential employers would likely fork over tons of cash in various ways for the depth of info Facebook has.

This is the ultimate fear of privacy advocates.

It could sell you a relationship.

Facebook is missing out by letting other people, like Cloud Girlfriend, provide users with fake girlfriends.

And it's not just a simple relationship status change. You will get Photoshopped photos together, post on each others' walls, respond to friends' messages about whether you're really dating, and more.

Everybody knows--it's not real unless it's Facebook Official.

It could bring back the gift shop.

Facebook canned its gift shop a few years ago, which was odd given it was worth nearly $40 million.

While gifts are likely never going to compete with apps like Farmville, it was still a profitable business.

Plus, don't you miss the box displaying how much people loved you? It was so much better than likes.

It could introduce Instagram Pro.

Instagram's popularity might be centered around it being free and easy to use, but Camera+ is still making money, and it's only $0.99.

Instagram, with its social features, has more options than just charging for more filters. It could charge its gigantic user base for using social features.

If things got really bad, Facebook could just charge you every time you wanted to post a picture of a cupcake.

It could charge to let users spy.

Ex-girlfriend block you? Want to know if she is happier? Or maybe your child won't you let see all their photos?

$0.99 and you can unblock yourself.

Sure, privacy advocates will be up in arms, but what else is new?

It could sell you some friends.

A few years ago, uSocial charged 7.6 cents per friend--no reason why Zuckerberg couldn't try this.

The market for this may not be as large as some other revenue avenues for Facebook, but surely there are enough teenagers to make this a decent business.

Better yet, Facebook could allow targeted friend buys. Need some older friends? Maybe you want to be popular in Portland?

Maybe a package: five friends and 10 likes for $0.99?

It could sell official Facebook hoodies.

Investors like diversified revenue streams and selling licensed Mark Zuckerberg sweatshirts is not part of Facebook's current business.

The market for Silicon Valley celebrity fashion is there. After the death of Steve Jobs, the company credited with his $175 signature turtleneck did massive sales. Right now, Zuckerberg's hoodies are the most popular clothing item on Wall Street, so what better time to capitalise?

Previous Facebook hoodies have fetched more than $2,500.

Now look at the crazy-complicated world that Facebook lives in ...

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