The 10 Worst Things I Ever Bought

bahamas storm

Photo: AP

Last year I looked back with fond memories at the 10 best things I ever bought.At the time, I had intended to immediately publish a follow-up article up on the 10 worst things I ever bought, but as you can see I got a bit side-tracked.

Anyway, after a lot of thought, I’m happy to say I finally finished.

Interestingly, this list was a lot more difficult to compile; unlike my 10 best list, I really had to dig deep and think hard about the purchases that gave me the worst cases of buyer’s remorse.

So without further ado, here’s my list — in no particular order, of course. How does it compare to yours?

1. My First House

Purchase Date: 1990

Purchase Price: $114,000

Why it's in my bottom 10: OK, I said these items were in no particular order -- but this one takes the cake. I bought my first house at the top of the market. As a result, I spent the next seven years owing more than it was worth -- which meant I couldn't sell it unless I wanted to shell out about $20,000 to the make my lender whole. So I chose to ride out the downturn, which is a reasonable strategy for most people. Unfortunately for me, this house was in a less-than-desirable neighbourhood, just 100 yards from a very busy -- and extremely loud -- rail line that carried freight and commuter trains 24/7. I know.

2. Our Ottoman

3. A Double Stack Guitar Amplifier

Purchase Date: 1993

Purchase Price: $995

Why it's in my bottom 10: When I was in my twenties, I had big dreams: I was going to be a rock and roll star! Of course, that meant playing the part -- so I grew my hair out and bought a double stack guitar amplifier. Talk about overkill. I could have played Dodger Stadium with that thing if I wanted to. The trouble is, most of the time we were playing small bars and other venues that required more compact equipment with half the power -- or less. Here's a picture of it, with the cabinets actually sitting side-by-side in the right-hand side of the photograph:

4. A Vacation In The Bahamas

5. My Sony 400 CD Player

Purchase Date: 2001

Purchase Price: $295

Why it's in my bottom 10: Remember these things? The first time I laid eyes on Sony's CDP-CX400, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Yes, the machines were humongous and bulky -- after all, they tipped the scales at 9 pounds. True, they also had a clumsy programming interface. But this baby allowed me to store, play and shuffle 400 (!) music discs, which meant I could finally dump my space-wasting CD racks in the trash. Even so, my love affair with the CDP-CX400 ended less than a year after I bought it. That's because Apple unleashed a brand new invention called the iPod, which essentially rendered the CDP-CX400 obsolete.

6. My Backyard Irrigation System

Purchase Date: 2009

Purchase Price: $1 (rental price)

Why it's in my bottom 10: Laugh all you want. This movie was so bad that if I had snuck into the theatre to see it I'd still demand my money back. Anyway, if you're a glutton for punishment, you can check out my official movie review here.

8. My Los Angeles Kings Alexei Zhitnik Hockey Jersey

Purchase Date: 1994

Purchase Price: $120

Why it's in my bottom 10: Back in 1994, it was time to buy myself a new Los Angeles Kings hockey jersey. Of course, being the contrarian doofus that I am, I decided it would be cooler to have promising young defenseman Alexei Zhitnik's name and number (2) sewed onto the back of it. After all, everybody had a Kings jersey with the great Wayne Gretzky's name and number (99) on it. Dumb move. Less than a year later, the Kings traded Zhitnik to the Buffalo Sabres for a Zamboni machine and a couple of old hockey pucks. I still wear the jersey on occasion -- but I'll always regret not putting Gretzky's name on the back when I had the chance.

9. My WhirlPool Tub

10. A Very Disappointing Dinner In Maui

Purchase Date: 2011

Purchase Price: $150.00 (tip included)

Why it's in my bottom 10: The Honeybee and I were vacationing in Wailea, Hawaii and happened upon a fine dining place that was showcasing photos of the owner posing with rocker Steven Tyler in the restaurant's dining room. Cool! Naturally, we figured if Steven Tyler was willing to pose for pictures with the owner, the food there must be fabulous, right? Wrong. To make a long story short, the food was terrible -- not to mention over-priced. You can bet that's the last time I ever go to any restaurant with photos of Steven Tyler at the front door.

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