This Is The Absolute Worst Thing About The Super Bowl

gladiator with roman numerals on top of it

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Roman numerals are awful.For all their contributions to modern civilisation, the Romans sucked at writing down numbers.

But for some reason, each edition of our most prized national treasure — the Super Bowl — is cataloged with a maddening mishmash of x’s and v’s rather than a beautifully universal digit.

This year’s game isn’t Super Bowl 46. It’s Super Bowl XLVI.

It’s a minor abomination, and it’s not a victimless crime.

Here’s why:

We all sound like idiots when we try to reference old Super Bowls. If we used regular numbers like regular Americans, we could call the Titans-Rams Super Bowl “Super Bowl 34.” But since only dorks realise that “XXXIV” means “34,” people can’t remember which Super Bowl is which, and end up saying things like, “Woah, this is like the best game since that game … with the tackle at the end … in the dome and stuff.”

It gives people an excuse to show that they’re better than you in public. There is a 100% chance that some goodie-goodie will absolutely rip you apart at your Super Bowl party if you misread the Roman numerals. In reality, they’re the weird ones since only, like, Latin professors or whatever should know how to read Roman numerals. But it’ll still sting when they call you out and everyone laughs at you because you’re dumb.

It teaches kids what Roman numerals are, which just perpetuates the cycle. Self-explanatory.

It makes old games hard to google. It does.

In conclusion, we should switch over to numbers.