POLES, STAPLERS, AND SWIMMING POOLS: 17 Stupid Ways People Have Injured Themselves

emergency room injury

Photo: Flickr – guywilliamwelch.com

Ever had a hoe hit you in the face? Or killed a tooth by running into a pole?These people have.

No one likes getting hurt. And people like it even less when there is a stupid story accompanying the injury. But, alas, it happens to the best of us.

Don’t believe it?

Check out this hilarious Reddit thread where people shared the dumbest ways they’ve injured themselves.

If you don't learn the first time, try again

'I broke my nose by running into a pole. A few weeks later it was finally healed up, I was so happy. Then I ran into the exact same pole the next week and broke my nose again.'

Source: Reddit

Might be time to keep the dentist on speed dial

'I once bruised a tooth running full tilt into the side of a table.

Edit: Apparently I killed the tooth. I committed denticide!'

Source: Reddit

Turns out, all those cartoons were right

'I once stepped on a hoe in my mum's garden to see if it really would swing up and hit me in the face.

Guess what.'

This poor commenter had three mortifying injuries. Here's the first

'Went to trim a loose thread off bottom of my pants, missed and scissor hacked skin between big toe and one next to it. Needed 10 stitches and couldn't wear shoes for weeks. Of course it was winter.'

Source: Reddit

This person's toes don't fare too well. Here's the second injury

'It was the middle of the night and my dog needed to pee. Opened door to outside and the door caught my toe. Ended up breaking it and completely ripped off the nail.'

Source: Reddit

And now the head is injured. Here's the commenter's third awful injury

'Was a competitive swimmer for years. One day while doing laps I must have dozed off and rammed my head into the end of lane. Huge bloody brush burn across my forehead.

I could go for days. I am Polish and left-handed. There isn't much hope for me.'

Source: Reddit

Tools are not toys

'I stapled my thumb with an industrial stapler... Twice.'

Source: Reddit

Apparently, staplers are dangerous

He might have cursed himself

'Stabbed a screwdriver through my hand, in the middle of Iraq, while trying to remove a rusty screw from a wire clamp on some equipment we were working on. All the medical tent could give me was iodine and some band-aids for a 1/4 hole through my palm.

The kicker is that I told my buddy about 5 seconds before 'I'm probably going to stab myself through the hand, the way I'm holding this thing.'

Source: Reddit

These guys don't have much luck with office supplies

'In elementary school, probably most schools did this, you could prove you were a grade school badass by jumping a whole bunch of stairs. 4 for starters, but 6 or 7 was best I think.

Anyway, I went for 6 one day... with a nice sharp number 2 pencil sticking out of my side pocket. Still have the mark on my arm.'

Source: Reddit

Even rocket scientists can't handle toys sometimes

'I had a 24 year-old roommate last summer who got really into yo-yos. One night while practicing, he accidentally hit himself in the face with one, bled all over the kitchen, and had a swollen forehead for a week and a half.

He actually got a job with NASA a few months later.'

Source: Reddit

A fun winter day takes a turn for the worse

'I was around 7 years old I was sledding down a hill and I had tried to go under my fathers car. I hit the muffler and cracked my head open. I still have a huge scar and a silly story.'

Source: Reddit

Imitating Tom Cruise never turns out well

'Not me but my brother, he got a new pair of cotton socks from my mum and he said 'whoa, wait until you see the slide I can do in these'. He then slid across our wooden floor for about 2 feet and hit the ground screaming, (obviously I couldn't stop laughing).

He had completely torn his groin, he was alright after about 2 months of physio. The funny thing is he was 30 years old at the time.'

Source: Reddit

Always be careful around power tools

A day at the creek becomes a day at the emergency room

Playground games aren't for the faint of heart

'I was playing a land-based version of 'marco polo' on the playground in elementary school, and I was the one with my eyes closed. As my friend realised what was about to happen, she ran toward me, screaming 'POLO! POLO!' (and not, for example, 'dumbass open your eyes...') as I ran face-first into a chain link fence, giving myself a pretty intense black eye and a small puncture that just missed said eye.'

Source: Reddit

Maybe a face mask would have helped

'In bed, browsing Reddit on my phone with my phone above my head.

Dropped phone on my nose.'

Source: Reddit

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