11 Stupid iPhone Apps That We Can't Believe Are Real

passion iphone app

Photo: iTunes

With over 350,000 apps in the App Store, it’s quite obvious that quantity isn’t quality.There are some glaring stinkers in the bunch. They might be good for a laugh, but mostly we just can’t believe they’re available for download.

Here are some of the apps we love to hate.

Zips is quite pointless

This app displays a zipper. You get to zip and unzip it, and that's it. But don't forget the ability to customise the colour of underwear that's revealed!

Price: free

In Hold the Button, you simply compete to keep your finger pressed against the screen for the longest time. The game is over when you release your finger, then you can see how your 'abilities' stack up to others.

Price: free

Touch Train is total conquest of the useless

The goal of Touch Train is to touch the exact centre pixel in the bullseye. Once you try, the app simply tells you if you were successful or not.

Price: free

SimStapler might sound useful, but it's not

SimStapler provides you with a virtual stapler you can tap. It also keeps track of your 'score,' or number of staples you've spent.

Price: free

iDemocrat and iRepublican just display an image

These apps only show the images to the right when you launch them.

Price: free and free

If you're insecure enough to pay for an app that rates your sexual performance, that should already be a good tip-off that you're no good at it. Passion uses the iPhone's microphone and accelerometer to somehow gauge your sexual performance.

Price: $0.99

iPhone Blower

For those times when, you know, you can't be bothered to blow out your own birthday candles.

Price: $0.99

Taxi Hold 'Em solves a problem that doesn't exist

This app purports to help you better hail a cab by displaying this sign on your phone. Raising your arm seems to work well on its own, though.

Price: free

Crazy Mouth, well, OK

It displays crazy mouths to hold up in front of your face. Don't forget to get laughs and get crazy.

Price: $1.99

Hair Clinic for Man and Woman

If you want to shell out $4 for this, you deserve to lose your hair. It claims to help regenerate your hair by pumping special frequencies into your follicles.

Price: $3.99

Sexy Girl Talk

It's a glorified soundboard that speaks the letters of the alphabet, but in a sultry, breathy female voice.

Price: $1.99

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