If you’re going to ask Stephen Colbert about “The Lord of the Rings,” be prepared for an amazingly geeky answer.
Saturday night, during what was referred to as a “nerd-off” between Colbert and “Star Wars” director J.J. Abrams for the Montclair Film Festival, a fan asked Colbert what “Lord of the Rings” movie he would have Abrams make.
He didn’t hesitate in his response.
“I would ask him to make what’s called Akallabêth,” said Colbert.
The nearly 30-page story from The Silmarillion, a collection of J.R.R. Tolkien works, is about the rise and fall of the Numenor kingdom.
However, Colbert didn’t stop there. He detailed exactly what the story is about, as if he had been waiting for someone to ask him for a “Lord of the Rings” movie pitch for some time.
The audience loved every moment of it.
“There’s an island called Númenor and it’s where Aragorn’s [played by Viggo Mortensen] ancestors are from — Elendil and Isildur. That’s where they flee from,” Colbert said over a cheering crowd. “The reason I would say do it is because it’s got all your greatest hits in it. It’s got elves in it. It’s got Sauron in it.”
Sauron, for those who don’t remember, is the main villain from “The Lord of the Rings” series.
“Sauron is actually captured. The Númenóreans are so powerful they capture Sauron, who, at the time, still has the damn ring [the one ring which set off the events of “The Lord of the Rings”]. Their party is so large they march up to Mordor and they say Sauron come forth, and it just says in the Silmarillion, ‘And Sauron came,’ because he saw there was nothing he could do,” explains Colbert. “So he leaves the ring behind, he goes to Númenor and goes, ‘I’ll tell ya what. I’ll corrupt them.’ And [he] turns them into essentially like human sacrifice worshippers of the darkness and the Valar and the Ilúvatar sink the entire island. Only a few of the men escape. They found Gondor and then pick up their story basically in Middle Earth again.”
“It’s a perfect story. It’s complete,” he added. “If anybody makes anything in the Silmarillion, it should be that one.”
It sounds like it could make for a pretty decent movie. Are you listening Warner Bros. and MGM?
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