Photo: Star Wars, LucasFilm
The White House doesn’t get the last say about the Death Star. Friday, the Obama administration poked fun at “Star Wars” when it turned down a “We the People” petition to construct a Death Star.
The colourful response reasoned the Administration didn’t support blowing up planets and called out a structural weakness that led to Luke Skywalker destroying it single handedly.
The White House also estimated it would cost nearly $850 quadrillion of taxpayers dollars to build.
In response, the Galactic Empire issued a mock statement to the White House via StarWars.com. In it, the Empire called out “Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design” and the exorbitant estimated construction price tag.
Read the hilarious letter below:
IMPERIAL centre, CORUSCANT — The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,” said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”
Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this minuscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.
Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. “Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.
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