Star Wars trailer was neato but that lightsaber looked dumb. Whats the point of those side ones other than to make it look different?
— Jesse (@cscomics) November 28, 2014
Star Wars the force awakens cross light saber is dumb, not realistic at all.. you would cut your hand off trying to use it lol
— Ty Queen (@DSportsFan4Life) November 28, 2014
The design is meant to protect a person’s hand from opponent’s lightsaber attacks. However, the argument from some fans is that those tiny blades aren’t going to do much protecting. They could easily be hacked off by other lightsabers.
The Verge wrote a lengthy geek-tastic interpretation of the flawed design while proposing a better one with mini side lightsabers at 45 degree angles. The design is similar to other lightsabers in the “Star Wars” cannon.
Not so fast, haters.
Self-proclaimed “Star Wars” fanatic Stephen Colbert is upset by all the flack the new lightsaber is receiving. So he elaborately broke down why the new lightsaber is a “perfect” design on “The Colbert Report.”
Sadly, there are some stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herders out there who aren’t thrilled with the new Jedi weapon. They say if these things are supposed to protect your hands like sword hilts, it wouldn’t work because the first time you cross lightsabers and it slid down to the bottom of the blade your opponent’s lightsaber would chop through the little side sabers and take off your hand.
“Well, I say it’s a perfect design,” continued Colbert. “Here’s how it works. I’ve done my analysis.”
“People think it’s actually three different plasma streams, but it’s all one,” explains Colbert. “The long beam right here comes out and the two smaller beams at the bottom, they’re still attached to it. They don’t start where the little metal hilt ends, ok? They’re attached to the other beam inside. The metal hilts are just casings around the little beams to protect your hand. Even if someone slices through the metal, they’re going to hit the beam right there. Any padawan knows that.”
Colbert also had a retort for fans who still refused to believe him.
“Now, I know what you’re thinking,” said Colbert. “You’re saying, ‘But Stephen, in the trailer the first light beam comes out before the other two. How could it all be one beam?'”
“It’s simple,” he said. “You just need three focusing crystal activators to split the plasma into perpendicular blade energy channels.”
All the galactic credits to Colbert.
Watch the full clip below. It’s a must watch.
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