Since last week’s Republican presidential debate was filled with candidates almost nobody has heard of, SNL was forced to “switch from candidates you don’t know much about to candidates you wish you knew less about” in their parody last night, instead making fun of candidates like Newt Ginrich (Bobby Moynihan), Mitt Romney (Jason Sudeikis), Sarah Palin (Tina Fey), Michele Bachmann (Kristen Wiig) and, of course, Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond).
Bachmann revealed her strategy for becoming president: “establish a Fatal Attraction situation with America.”
“At first I will come off as intense, and even a little bit sexy. Over time the intensity will become overwhelming, and you’ll begin to fear what I will do if you make me angry. A crazy woman untethered can be a dangerous thing. Cars get keyed, boxes of excrement will be found on your doorstep. You’ll decide its just safer to marry me so you can keep an eye on me.”
Palin, who will “be running for president ever four years of my life,” made sure to take time out to gloat about America’s victory over “one of the world’s great villains,” by which she meant Katie Couric. Palin also let it slip that she will be preparing herself for the presidency by filming a cameo for “The Hangover 3: The Third Hangover.”
And Trump? Well, all he could do was remind everyone to watch The Apprentice and tell them how amazing he is.
“If you criticise me, just remember: you’re rubber and I’m gold. So whatever you say doesn’t matter because I’m gold and you’re losers.”
At the end of the debate, moderator Shepard Smith (Bill Hader) offed his “congratulations to Barack Obama on his reelection.”
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