Photo: Wiley Publishing
If you prefer some cold, hard reality in your comfortable life, Larry Winget’s self-help book Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get A Life might be exactly what you need to jump start your not-so-successful career.But if you’re expecting someone to hold your hand and offer thoughtful motivational sayings, don’t expect it from this “Pitbull of Personal Development.”
Winget attacks everything from the sanctity of marriage to having a positive attitude to the real reason why people are overweight. He calls feeling good about yourself a “happy load of crap.”
Here are 17 kick-butt approaches to a better life and why most people don’t have one.
You should shut up long enough to listen to what other people are saying.
Here are the people you should listen to:
1. Listen to your loved ones.
2. Listen to your customers. It'll definitely benefit you to know how to serve them better.
3. Listen to people who know more than you do. If you can figure out how to copy their actions, there is a big chance you can also copy their successes.
4. Listen to the experts.
5. Listen to great music. It will help you relax and inspire you to become more creative.
6. Listen to your 'self' -- not yourself, but your 'self,' a better and wiser you.
Here are the people you shouldn't listen to:
1. Don't listen to someone who is broke tell you how to make money.
2. Don't listen to an unhealthy doctor.
3. Don't listen to a preacher who says you're a worthless sinner.
4. Don't listen to yourself say negative things such as 'I can't do that' or 'I'm so stupid.'
According to Winget, we are a 'nation of whiners and blamers,' but while we're whining, we're losing valuable time in choosing a plan that will help us move towards the life we desire.
'You can't focus on solutions when you are whining about the problem.'
The fact is, people are always blaming other people for their problems so that they don't have to do the inevitable: blame themselves. They blame others for their weight when it's their own fault. They blame others for their health, but no one's forcing them to smoke another cigarette.
'Listen. If you're unhappy, unsuccessful, sick or broke -- keep it to yourself. The rest of us don't need to hear about it, so don't feel compelled to share.'
People are always ready to achieve greater success by doing more, but they are not always willing to do more -- not even for success and happiness. If you are able to become a better person and you're not one, it's your own fault.
'If the only thing that makes you special is that you're a miserable failure, it's your own fault. Your unwillingness has you stuck.'
Everyone is given the same list of things to deal with and what they do with that list will eventually separate the wealthy folks from the broke fools.
Before making a decision, second guess your actions to determine if it's the highest vision you have of yourself. If it's not, don't bother with it.
'Remember how you did things yesterday? Don't do them that way today. Don't think of them the same way. Don't talk about them the way you did.'
Knowledge alone is not power, but it's the implementation that will save you. That is the real power.
Be careful of the things you say -- they will eventually help you attain the life you desire or curse you to the life you despise. If the latter happens, you will begin to despise yourself as well.
'What you think about, talk about, and do something about is what comes about. Your thoughts, words, and actions either move you closer to where you want or further away from where you want to be.'
So proclaim positive things in your life and they will be on their way to coming true. Again, 'affirmation without implementation is self-delusional' so there is no point in saying things if you're not going to act on them.
When you start to think differently about yourself -- hopefully in a positive way -- you will also think differently about the rest of the world.
It's definitely a plus to have a good attitude, especially when you have to deal with bad things that happen to you.
But it's not everything. Attitude alone is not going to change your world because even when you maintain a good attitude, bad things can still happen. Instead, effort, thoughts, words and actions are what will change things for you.
And a bad attitude is definitely needed sometimes. If you get mad enough, you will be determined to make the necessary changes for your life. Good feelings don't create change but bad ones certainly do.
You can take as many risks as you can, but you must believe that you will be successful -- it's the only way you can achieve what your heart wants.
If you take risks, have courage and continue doing what you need to do, you will eventually get what you want.
1. 'You can be whatever you want to be.' You definitely can't be a dancer if you have no groove so, in reality, you can only be what you have the talent for.
2. 'You can have whatever you want to have.' Again, you can only have what you deserve.
3. 'You become what you think about.'
4. 'There are no problems, only opportunities.' Sometimes, a problem is nothing more than a problem. Yes, it can offer a lesson, but it is still a problem.
5. 'Give 110%.' If there is only room available for 100%, you cannot give 110%. You can do more than you are expected, but you can't do more than what is available.
What you believe will determine how successful, happy and healthy you are. Every thought you have will have an impact on your life.
'Thoughts are creative. Words are creative. Actions are creative. These are the three creative forces of the universe.'
So write down a description of the life you want, but know that the life you want will oftentimes come at a price -- just like everything else.
If you want to be rich, then you'll have to work harder, longer or smarter. Or maybe even all three. If you want to be happy, you must first give up all the things that make you unhappy.
There isn't much time in life so don't do the things you don't enjoy.
If you don't enjoy your job, you're most likely not good at it anyway. If you don't like your friends, find better ones. If you don't like the way you look, do something about it.
If you don't enjoy getting sick, well, don't choose that either. Choose good diet and exercise instead. Sleep well and you won't get migraines or ulcers.
Become a more knowledgeable person by these guidelines:
1. Buy lots of books and stock up on your reading list. If the book is yours, mark it up and highlight important messages. Tell other people about it. Stop reading it if it's bad.
But most importantly, 'Don't hang around with people who don't read.'
2. Attend seminars and learn through audio and video.
3. Talk to other smart people.
Stress comes from knowing what is right and doing what is wrong. Eliminate the root of your stress.
Having money is a lot better than not having it at all so don't diminish its importance, Winget says.
But, also, don't complain about having to let it go. Only by doing so will you allow more money to come to you. Don't complain about your utility bill -- the problem is not that it costs too much, but that you can't afford it.
And when do you know that you have enough money? The answer is it's never enough.
'Only your best effort is enough. When you have done your best, believed your best, given your best, and served your best, then you have received the right amount.'
Marriage is a choice, not an obligation and it's not about ownership or creating the perfect union.
Couples should live together before getting married. You won't know someone until you do and Winget believes the divorce rate will be cut in half if everyone did this.
'It's better to have a good divorce than a bad marriage.'
The author also advises couples to retain their individuality because the better you are, the better the union will be. But don't forget that you don't need anyone. You only need yourself.
1. When you work, WORK and when you play, PLAY. Don't mix the two or bad things will happen. Or so says Winget.
2. Stay focused.
3. When it stops being fun, then quit or find some other way to enjoy it.
4. You can never get a good deal from a bad guy.
5. If you give your family and friends a discount, they forfeit the rights to complain.
6. 'Do what you say you are going to do when you said you were going to do it, in the way you said you were going to do it.'
If you want to balance your life, you have to be realistic about it. If you're broke, sacrifice some aspects of your life in order to make money.
But don't completely abandon one aspect of your life for another. In other words, 'work hard, but not so hard you lose your life.'
Be selfish with your time. Don't be afraid to say 'no' to things that are keeping you from 'yes' to things that you really want in life.
You can share your talent and money, but first and foremost, work on yourself. You cannot be good to others unless you are first good to yourself.
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