- After a breakup, many people believe that distancing yourself from an ex is the only way to truly move on.
- However, a new study from Wayne State University has discovered that sleeping with an ex may not keep you from moving on.
- According to the experience of the study’s participants, sleeping with an ex may lead to healing from the breakup faster and positive feelings about life overall.
Coping with any breakup is hard, but trying to move on when you still have feelings for your ex can feel impossible. But if you’ve ever had the urge to hook up one more time after your break up, it might not be the worst thing for you – at least, not according to a new study.
Researchers at Wayne State University recently published a study in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour (via Science Daily) and as it turns out, sleeping with your ex actually won’t make it any harder for you to move on.
The study first followed a group of 113 participants whose relationships had recently ended who filled out a survey about their emotional attachment to their former partners two months later, while the second group of 372 participants reported their sexual behaviour with their exes and how attached they still felt to them.
The study revealed that, for many participants, having sex with their ex did not impede their ability to move on.
Doing so also caused them to feel more positive in their daily life.
This, of course, goes against conventional wisdom and expert advice about how to get over an ex.
“Even if the ending of a relationship is amicable it is helpful to institute a no contact rule,” Jessica Cline, MSW, LCSW, a divorce recovery therapist, previously told INSIDER. “Breakups are a separation! The no contact rule allows space to heal, to envision a future with someone else, and allows for space to become who you need to be. When kids are involved in the relationship the no contact rule may not be feasible; however, using the idea of no contact to create boundaries is [a] healthy choice for parents.”
Being that people usually advise you to do the exact opposite when you’re heartbroken, this could be a game-changer for your next breakup – if it happens.
“This research suggests that societal handwringing regarding trying to have sex with an ex may not be warranted,” Stephanie Spielmann, the author of the study, told Science Daily. “The fact that sex with an ex is found to be most eagerly pursued by those having difficulty moving on, suggests that we should perhaps instead more critically evaluate people’s motivations behind pursuing sex with an ex.”
So next time your well-meaning friend tries to advise you against sinking back into your old habits, take their advice with a grain of salt. You never know – it might just help you move on to better, healthier relationships that much faster.
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