13 Totally Badass Self-defence Gadgets

pink stinger

Photo: Inventor Spot

If you feel like you could use help protecting yourself, never fear.The market for self-defence gear has never had more to offer.

From small and practical to ridiculous and over the top, you’re sure to find something to help keep you protected.

The best defence is a good offence, so here are 13 gadgets that are offensively badass.

The Apache

This turn-of-the-century weapon isn't commercially available, but imagine the heads it must have turned when you could shoot and stab someone with the same device.

WHY IT'S BADASS: It wasn't an especially great gun, but that's OK. If you missed your opponent at close range, you could just perforate him with the blade instead.

Wild Cat Keychain

When you loop this keychain through your fingers, it turns into a serious striking weapon that can ventilate your assailant.

WHY IT'S BADASS: It's that whole 'wedge your car keys between your fingers' trick taken to the next level.

Price: $5.00

An electrified jacket

Check out the No-Contact Jacket. When activated, it delivers an electric shock to anyone touching it (obviously not to the wearer). Worried about rain? The jacket is coated in Teflon and waterproof, meaning you stay dry and you can still electrocute strangers.

WHY IT'S BADASS: Wear it and forget about it until you need it!

The Hello Kitty Sig Sauer

It's ridiculous and over the top. It's pink and encrusted with jewels. And you can use it to defend yourself. Say hello to the Hello Kitty Sig Sauer.

WHY IT'S BADASS: We love the intersection of cute and deadly that lead you straight to this custom handgun.

Price: $2,100

Blast knuckles

Designed to look like jogging weights, a pair of blast knuckles will zap your attacker with 1.9 million volts of electricity. They even come with leather holsters in case you'd prefer to keep them sheathed.

WHY IT'S BADASS: They make brass knuckles look like harmless paperweights. And 1.9 million volts of electricity speaks for itself.

Price: $100 for a pair

Bulletproof briefcase

If you're being shot at, why not open up your bulletproof briefcase and hide behind it?

WHY IT'S BADASS: It seems like a leftover prop from a spy movie, summoning up images of James Bond making a narrow escape.

Price: $490

mobile phone stun gun

Menacingly called The Pretender, this stun gun is built inside of a cell phone.

WHY IT'S BADASS: The malicious masquerading as the innocuous. This phone never rings, so don't try to answer it.

Price: $60

A shotgun built inside of a flashlight

This flashlight fires shotgun rounds. Now you should feel safer than ever in the dark.

WHY IT'S BADASS: You can literally shoot out the lights.

Steel-filled gloves

SAP Gloves are filled with steel, meaning that a punch or other strike will do considerable damage to an opponent.

WHY IT'S BADASS: The whole idea smacks of Batman, doesn't it?

Price: $30

Cane swords

This is definitely not for official orthopedic use. The cap on the end of the cane is removable, bringing with it a full-fledged sword!

WHY IT'S BADASS: It's a throwback to old detective stories. It makes anyone with a cane suspect. Also: swords!

Price: varies

A tampon taser

Introducing the Pink Stinger, a taser weapon designed to look like a tampon. It might not be the most discreet (since when do tampons have electrodes?), but it should do the trick when it comes to saving yourself from the baddies.

WHY IT'S BADASS: It's a serious electric weapon built into a feminine hygiene product -- how can it not be?

The charge card

It's no ordinary credit card -- it's a piece of steel sharpened on the end. Lace your fingers through it and you immediately have an intimidating weapon.

WHY IT'S BADASS: After dispensing justice, you put it away in your wallet!

Price: $24

(Un)Armed and Dangerous

Cheesy as it might be, this DVD is full of tips on how to disarm an attacker whether he's got a knife or a rifle.

WHY IT'S BADASS: Imagine being able to take a weapon away from someone coming after you, then use it against him.

Price: $30

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