Security Breach At The Goldman Gym: Someone Breaks In

view from the treadmillView from the treadmill

Someone at a gym website, Social Workout, broke into the Goldman gym recently.Apparently it was pretty hard:

After a few months of sleuthing, our sources finally penetrated the inner sanctum of the most powerful bank on the planet. They attempted to blend in, while scanning the joint for unrepentant derivatives traders pumping themselves up with kettlebells to sell short some small European country.

And they’ll probably get caught, because:

There are surveillance monitors everywhere.

spin studioThe spin studio

The spy was pretty obviously one of the few people in the gym at the time when the photos were taken, (none of the photos show anyone working out) so double those chances.But if they make it out of this alive, at least they uncovered this:

Goldman has people called Plus One “advisors” (the gym is outsourced to the company Plus One health management) posted at regular intervals around the gym “to help Goldman Sachs personnel master the complex television settings on their treadmills.”

free shorts

And got these photos of the free gym uniform Goldman gives employees, which some people think is creepy.

More on the new Goldman building >>>

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