Rush Limbaugh Is Saving America With His New Packaged Iced Tea

Two if by tea

Rush Limbaugh is selling tea.

Get it? Tea Party.

So clever.

Announced on his radio show today, Limbaugh is launching “Two If By Tea”, a new Paul Revere-inspired (seriously) iced tea beverage.

The tea, available in two flavours, is available for purchase on the site by the (12-pack) case for $23.76.

On the about page of the product’s site, Limbaugh writes:

Two If By Tea™ represents traditional American values of capitalism and the pursuit of excellence. Each bottle is designed to rise above the sameness and mediocrity that threatens our great nation. Just grab a 12-pack and join the fight to preserve the America we know and love. It’s worth it!

Our scientific panel of tasters has been working for years to develop the perfect recipe of tea – one that is fit for battle. All those years of rigorous testing have left us with the best quality tea we sell today.

…Fellow Americans, hold on to our exceptional values, stand up against those who want to suppress your individual rights and above all take pride in being an American! While you’re at it, join me in drinking a bottle of my tea as we admire the great United States of America and the military and law enforcement officials who fight to defend our freedom every day. Thank God, yes God, for the blessings of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and of course, this wonderful drink – Two If By Tea™!

The homepage also features a mini-lesson on American history with definitions for: Constitution, Bill of Rights, American Exceptionalism, and Declaration of Independence.

The more you know.

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