Roy Williams Provides An Example Of How NOT To Invest Money During Lockout

Dallas Cowboys’ wide receiver Roy Williams has settled a dispute with ex-girlfriend and former Miss Texas USA Brooke Daniels over a $76,000 engagement ring.

According to court documents, Williams mailed Daniels an overnight package that included the ring and a taped marriage proposal. Daniels refused the marriage request, and Williams filed a civil suit against Daniels on June 30 in order to regain possession of the ring.

Since Williams’ relationship with Daniels was not far enough along for her to feel comfortable accepting his marriage proposal, the price of the engagement ring ended up far exceeding its actual value. In order to protect readers from making the same type of financial mistakes as Williams, I present a list of 10 things nobody should ever pay for.

10. DVDs: Most DVDs cost $20. A RedBox rental is $1 per night. You’d have to watch a movie 20 times to justify buying it instead of renting it. With Netflix’s instantly streaming movie service, it’s even harder to justify buying a DVD, especially because so many movies that come out aren’t even very good.

9. CDs: I’m not even going to get into the whole “Are you stealing from the artists by pirating music, or helping them by weakening the record companies?” debate; I’m just going to point out that rarely is every single song on a CD likable, so it makes more sense to use a downloading service to only pay for the songs you actually like.

8. Dressing at restaurants: Seriously? If I order wings and the restaurant charges me for blue cheese dressing to dip my wings in, that is the last time I eat at the restaurant. Dressing is supposed to go with the food. Charging for dressing at a wings place is like charging extra money to put cheese on a pizza.

7. Dogs: They’re expensive enough to provide food and vaccinations for, so why add to their cost by actually paying to obtain them too? This is the 21st century. Go to Craigslist, and respond to one of the 42 bazillion postings from people giving away newborn puppies for free.

6. Cell phones: Between free upgrades every two years and warranties that cover your phone if it breaks before then, you can find a phone that has all the capabilities you want for free. There are plenty of free phones with email and Internet, the money shelled out for iPhones is simply spent to indulge the inner child and play with all the apps.

5. Books: As if libraries already didn’t render buying books an inefficient use of money, Amazon now refunds you fully if you return a Kindle book within a week of buying it. If you know you’ll have time to finish the book in a week, you can treat your Kindle like a library.

4. Anything at a gas station other than gas: Whatever it is you’re considering buying inside a gas station, chances are it’s stale and overpriced. And those hot dogs are probably older than the person ringing up your purchase.

3. Movie theatre candy: Those boxes of candy you pay $4 or more for at the movie theatre are usually a dollar apiece at a local store. And they fit perfectly in the pocket of your jeans. It’s a no-brainer, really.

2. Sex: If your skills are so weak you have pay to get some action, you deserve whatever oddly-coloured sores or warts you wake up with the next morning. By the way, what do Elliot Spitzer and Auburn have in common? They both “pay for play.”

And the number one thing that no one should ever pay for…

Roy Williams: He’s missed 15 starts the past three years, turns 30 this year and has amassed 1,000 receiving yards only one season in his career, but he’s due $9.5 million next season and is likely to be released whenever the lockout ends. With plenty of younger receivers available, teams should avoid the underachieving Williams like a sumo wrestler avoids carrots.

Hank Koebler

By Hank Koebler, NFL / NCAA Football Writer, You may email Hank @ [email protected] or follow him on Twitter @HankKoebler

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