Rick Perry Is Just George Bush Without The War Crimes

Rick Perry Texas

Photo: Flickr Robert Scoble

Good lord, America. Do we really want another scandalous Republican war criminal elected President from the great state of Texas? We haven’t gotten around to paying the tab from the last one.In case you’ve missed the thrilling Republican race for the right to lose badly to Barack Obama in 2012, Texas Governor Rick Perry has been considering jumping in with both boots. But will he, and more importantly, should he?

Well, he will soon have the opportunity to ask his higher authority. In a move that makes folks interested in the separation of church and state a little nervous, Perry is holding a day-long prayer and fasting event on August 6 at Reliant Stadium in Houston.

“I know there are people, critics, that say this is just some political event,” Perry said. “Well it’s not that. This event is not about supporting some organisation…It’s going to be very simple…It’s just a time to call out to god and that’s it and lift Jesus’ name up on high.”

Sure. And I have a Mission Accomplished banner to sell you.

“This is not an issue of who’s going to be our president…It absolutely has nothing to do with that at all. it’s about making Jesus king…,” said Jim Garlow, a California Pastor.

The Star-Telegram’s Aman Batheja reports that this is almost certainly a lie.

“Perry conceded some assume there are ‘other motivations’ behind the event. Perry is widely expected to announce whether he’s running for president soon after the event.” Read the full article here.

Oh, you mean THAT blatant political exploitation of events. You know, sort of like how last week, when Perry executed a Mexican national who had been denied his right to contact his country’s consulate — a violation of the Vienna Convention.

Even George W. Bush, himself no stranger to authorizing Vienna Convention violations, begged Perry to call off the execution. Perry, because he carries that amazing Texas bravado that lets just about anyone get away with limited intellect if their boots are shiny enough and their BS smile is big enough, went ahead and killed the man anyway.

Why does this matter? Well, for one, it lets Perry strut around and be tough on crime, which is important when you’re considering running for President. Even Bill Clinton took time out of his, ahem, affairs, to execute a mentally handicapped person, so as to appear tough on crime.

More importantly than Perry’s political ambitions are the harm that this colossal moron just did to our citizens overseas, including ambassadors, diplomats, vacationers, and foreign exchange students.

When your child is travelling across Eurasia and gets picked up for a crime they didn’t commit, will that country give him/her access to the US Consulate when the United States does not respect that right for others? Maybe not. When our soldiers or CIA agents are picked up by foreign powers and held, will they be given the benefit of speaking to their consulate? Or will other countries see our unwillingness to play by the rules as a good reason to ignore the rules themselves?

But hey, he’s a Republican who pretends to balance the budget (his actual budget pushed debt into future years, when he would be gone from office) and hates gay people and abortion. Who cares if he brings down a century of established international law and threatens the lives of every American who uses their passport to see more than a McDonalds at some point in their lives, right?

At least he showed those Mexicans who the boss is! Woooo hoooo! USA! USA!

On to brighter news, Perry might not make it so far as the nomination, if he even decides to run. While campaigning as a budget-cutting, care-for-yourself conservative that the tea party folks might like, he was simultaneously billing Texas taxpayers for $700,000 in home repairs. For himself. Seven hundred fricking thousand dollars, right out of the state’s coffers, to pay for his rental home while the governor’s mansion was being redone.

How many teachers does $700,000 pay for? How many more kids could have been kept on Medicaid insurance plans? How many school lunches is that? Hell, by Perry’s standards, how many Mexicans could he have executed for that?

This is why, if anyone is going to get the GOP nod from Texas, it will be Ron Paul. He might not always say what you want to hear (and some of us disagree with him pretty wildly on a lot of issues) but he speaks his mind, he isn’t beholden to political calculations, and he doesn’t do stupid things like put Americans at risk to win political points or drop 700k on a government-paid rental property.

— John Thorpe

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