My Room At The Ritz Carlton Was So Huge It Had A Doorbell

Ritz Carlton Dove Mountain cactus garden

A well-endowed company was kind enough to invite me to speak at a conference in Arizona recently.

They put me up at the Ritz Carlton Dove Mountain, which is a luxury resort built in the middle of a desert.

They gave me the key to my “room,” which I soon discovered was actually a suite.

I didn’t get to spend too much time in the suite, unfortunately, because the conference was great.

But I certainly enjoyed the time I did spend there!

The Ritz-Carlton Dove Mountain is pretty non-descript looking from the outside.

But that's because they've gone with the native architecture and native landscaping thing. (Which is much appreciated. Golf courses look ridiculous in this environment. So would typical luxury resorts).

But let's focus on the room.

I stayed in 1605. I didn't notice the doorbell the first time I arrived. It would have told me a lot.

1605 is... huge! Table. Couch. TV...

Oceans of room to work and hang out in.

And your very own patio!

But wait. Where's the bed?

The bed must be down that hall.

Past the art.

And past the bathroom, which is Ritz-Carlton big and Ritz-Carlton luxe.

(Stone bath tiles. Boatloads of fluffy towels. Carefully placed soap.)

And, yes, aha, there is the bed! It's in a whole different room! And it comes with its own SEPARATE patio!

There's ANOTHER huge flat-screen TV in the bedroom.

And ANOTHER desk!

And a massive walk-in closet, complete with iron.

Outside, on the patio, you get your own semi-private mountain view.

And a trail leading off into the desert!

You even get your own private cacti. (If I'm not mistaken, those are baby saguaros!)

Your private patio and cacti are separated from other guests' private patios and cacti by tasteful partitions. And rocks.

If you spend some time lounging on your private patio (OK, I did), you'll get to watch your mountain view change as the weather changes. That's cool.

Back inside, you can ogle the Ritz Carlton pillow array.

I do have a complaint, however. It involves the bedside light.

The light switch on the bedside light is hard to operate. First, it's hard to figure out where it is. (You'll be fondling the bulb and cord, feeling for the switch). When you finally spot the switch on the base and press it, moreover, the whole lamp base pushes backward, from the force of your push. Not a Ritz-Carlton quality user experience!

But what we really need to talk about is the bathroom. You see, the bathroom we saw in the hall is not actually THE bathroom. That was a GUEST bathroom. That was the bathroom that, say, the head of a major corporation would use if you were having a private meeting with him or her in the living room portion of your suite. You, meanwhile, would use YOUR bathroom. THE bathroom. And the first thing you'll notice when you walk into THE bathroom is that it's bigger than many New York apartments.

The Ritz-Carlton quality bathrobe is tantalizingly displayed.

The bathtub is like a lap pool.

The shower is separate from the bath, of course. It's all stone and glass. And it's next to the dedicated bathroom art.

Of course, you don't want to hang out in the shower too long. Because on the stone washroom wall (two sinks, naturally) is a sign reminding you that you're in the desert and that consuming water in the desert is violently profligate. But the Ritz offers you the opportunity to feel good by doing your part--by not insisting that they wash every one of your 8-10 towels ever day.

The soap is ready for you. The hand towels are fluffy and rolled.

They give you a whole array of toiletries to look at while you're there and then take home for your kids.

And they have seriously impressive water pressure!

And there's one more thing I want you to notice about the sinks...

See that drain? When you arrive, the drain is closed. This, presumably, is because someone on the Ritz-Carlton hospitality staff team has decreed that it is more convenient to arrive at your sink and find the drain closed. I am going to quibble with the Ritz hospitality guru here. I actually think it would be more convenient to arrive at my sink(s) and find the drain(s) open. But we'll agree to disagree.

The maid service, by the way, is predictably top-notch. When I finished brushing my teeth and shaving, of course, I left my toothbrush and toothpaste and razor just lying any old way. And when I returned to my room, I found that the Ritz staff had organised them and placed them on a towel. They've never looked so arranged!

And although I loved the bathroom, I have another quibble. The ceiling fan was too loud.

But there's no reason to dwell on the bathroom fan. Not when there's this right outside.

They turn the fire pit on in the evenings. (It's gas-powered, of course--no messy and unpredictable wood).

And you can sit there and watch the sunset as nice people bring you booze.

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