- A poster asked the subreddit “AmITheA–hole” whether she was in the wrong for putting her boyfriend’s dog down without telling him.
- The poster said that the boyfriend was away at a bachelor party when the dog was attacked and that doctors said the damage was “irreparable.”
- The poster said she decided to put the dog to sleep and chose not to tell her partner until he got back because “he would be heartbroken and I didn’t want to ruin his trip.”
- The post received more than 5,000 comments before moderators closed the comments, but many people said the poster’s intentions were good.
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People are defending a woman who said her boyfriend asked her to move out after she put his dog down without telling him.
Earlier this month, the person posted on the subreddit “AmITheA–hole,” in which Reddit users ask others for feedback on whether they were in the wrong or the right for their actions. The title of the thread was “AITA for having my boyfriends dog put down without telling him?”
The poster, who is anonymous but referred to being a woman in another Reddit thread, said she and her partner had been living together for two years with his Great Dane, Luna.
“I often walked her and took care of her on my own so it was no big deal when he went on a stag do with his friends for a week,” she said.
The poster said she took Luna for a walk in a secluded wood and kept the dog on a leash.
“We walked past a woman with another dog that wasn’t on the lead but when she saw us she grabbed her dogs collar and walked it past us. It was straining to get to Luna,” she said.
“About a minute later I hear this woman shouting her dog and turn round and it’s barrelling straight at us. It bites Luna’s throat, legs and stomach. I tried to pull the dog off of her but it was too strong and wouldn’t release its grip. It only stopped when Luna was laying on the ground not moving. The woman grabbed the dog and left.”
The poster said that Luna was left with puncture marks on her throat and legs and that her intestines were protruding from a large gash in her stomach.
“I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her stomach,” the poster said. “I tried to pick her up but I’m only 90lbs and I’m not strong and I just couldn’t manage it. I shouted for help for a long time.
“Eventually a man and his teenage son walked past and helped me carry Luna about 2 miles back to the house where my car was. I got her straight to the vet hoping they could save her. They said the damage was irreparable and the kindest thing to do was to put Luna to sleep.”
The poster said she was “absolutely devastated” but didn’t want Luna to suffer.
“I pressed my head against hers whilst they injected her,” she said. “As she went I told her over and over again what a good girl she was. I then went to the police and reported this woman and her dog but they weren’t interested.”
The poster said she chose not to tell her partner while he was away because “he would be heartbroken and I didn’t want to ruin his trip.”
Instead, the poster said she “went to a baby store and bought an imprint kit, and made a clay imprint” of Luna’s paw, then “got Luna cremated and bought a beautiful urn with her name engraved.”
“When I picked him up from the airport I broke the news to him as gently as I could,” she said. “He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the drive. As soon as we got home he told me I should have contacted him before putting Luna to sleep and told me to pack my stuff and move out. This was 2 weeks ago and he hasn’t changed his mind.”
The post received more than 5,000 comments before moderators closed the comments.
One user wrote that the poster was in the wrong for not calling the boyfriend immediately.
“He deserved a say in what medical treatment the dog received,” the user wrote. “She began the grieving process without him, and excluding him leaves him far behind where she is now.”
They added that the poster even “excluded him from the decisions over how to handle the dogs remains.”
“She picked out the urn. She decided what cremation option to choose. Don’t get me wrong, the paw print is nice but she chose the paw. She chose the ceramic. She chose the style of engraving.
“It wasn’t her dog, it was his,” they went on. “He is supposed to be her PARTNER. That implies a serious measure of mutual decision making that was sorely lacking here.”
The user added: “That is completely inappropriate in a loving, committed relationship. It’s not appropriate to exclude your partner from life or death decisions. Even when it’s done from a place of love, which it clearly was here, it’s still wrong.”
However, others disagreed.
“It’s extremely unlikely that the dog would have received any other form of treatment,” one person argued. “If she called her boyfriend after the vet refused to operate, the dog likely would have died an agonizing death before she could get it to another vet, who likely would just tell her the same thing. The only thing to do in this situation was putting the dog down, unfortunately.”
Another added: “I can’t agree more. This wasn’t the kind of situation where the dog is old and slow and can hang on for a few more days.”
While many people argued that the poster should have phoned the boyfriend no matter what, most said she was not in the wrong.
Responding to the comments from those who didn’t agree with her actions, the poster said: “If I could go back and change things I would, and your comments have helped me to gain a better understanding of other perspectives.”
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