- A woman turned to Reddit to ask whether she was out of line in considering a divorce when she found out how many children her husband was the father to.
- She said that while she had always known he was a sperm donor, at least 47 children felt like a few too many.
- The consensus of the Reddit thread seemed to be that she was in the wrong and might be looking for reasons to get out of her marriage.
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Unlike women, who have a finite number of eggs, men can reproduce almost up until they die. This is why sperm banks are among the top choices for single women who want a child and couples who may be having fertility issues.
But being a sperm donor means there is virtually no limit on how many children you can be the father to.
One woman experienced the downside of this when her husband of eight years revealed to her how many people had picked his sperm from the options at the bank.
A Reddit user with the name fedupwife1234 asked the r/AmITheA–hole subreddit on Sunday whether she was out of line in considering a divorce when she found out her husband was the father of 47 children, at last count.
She said that while she always knew he was a sperm donor, “I was… Not expecting that many.”
“It’s clearly my fault for not asking how many,” she said. “At the time, I literally said I ‘didn’t care’ about his sperm donation and ‘didn’t want to know,’ so I can’t blame him for not telling me how many. I literally told him not to.”
In the subreddit, members can post their dilemmas, and the community responds with a judgment of whether they are overreacting; posting “YTA” means “You’re the a–hole.”
Hundreds of people responded to the post, and most seemed to conclude that the poster was in the wrong.
Some people said they didn’t understand her worries about the problems the children could cause as they get older, saying that 47 children reaching out for her husband’s contact details would be an inconvenience rather than a disaster.
“Seems like the only problem that is guaranteed is you leaving him and upending your daughter’s life,” one person wrote.
“You knew in advance, specifically asked not to know how many and have been married for years,” another wrote. “What’s the real reason you want a divorce?”
Many also suggested that the poster was looking for excuses to get out of an unhappy or unsatisfying marriage.
“Well, it would suck if their child ended up falling for a half sibling later in life because the child has 47 of them out there,” one person said, kicking up a debate about incest and genetics.
Overall, the results were pretty unanimous, with most people saying the poster was out of line to consider a divorce when her husband had simply helped multiple people start a family.
“He didn’t personally impregnate 47 women,” one user said. “Don’t ruin your daughter’s life over this … Talk to a therapist or marriage counselor first.”
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