Photo: zanthrax-dot-nl via flickr
Every once in a while, you’ll get a business card with such a pretentious job title, you don’t even know what the person really does for a living. And if you’re a recruiter, you probably see more fancy job titles than you’d prefer.
Recruiting firm Coburg Banks shares on their blog 50 of the most ridiculous job titles they’ve ever come across on resumes.
Most of these titles come from marketing applicants, which “perhaps says something about people in marketing,” the post says.
We thought these titles were pretty funny:
- Beverage Dissemination Officer – Bartender
- Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of chickens
- Digital Overlord – Website Manager
- Retail Jedi – Shop Assistant
- Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – Marketing Director
- Chief Chatter – Call Centre Manager
- Animal Colourist – This person dyes animals for movies and marketing campaigns
- Problem Wrangler – Counselor
- Twisted Brother – Balloon Artist
- Digital Dynamo – Digital Marketing Executive
- Direct Mail Demi-God – Direct Mail Manager
- Dream Alchemist – Head of Creative
- Marketing Rockstar – Marketing Executive
- Light Bender – Someone who is responsible for the high-tech, precision job of making neon lights
- Space Travel Agent – This is the job of Craig Curran who is an accredited travel agent for Virgin Galactic, the world’s first space tourism business.
- Associate to the Executive Manager of Marketeer’ing and Conservation efforts –Marketing Assistant
- Pneumatic device and machine optimizer – Factory Worker
- Senior Kindle Evangelist’ – In charge of all things Kindle for Amazon
- Brand Evangelist – Marketing Brand Manager
- Chief Inspiration Officer – A ‘CIO’ is a company representative whose role is essentially to encourage ‘belief in the company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values’
- Part-Time Czar – Czars were Eastern European supreme rulers that haven’t been around since WWII. This person is either an assistant manager or perhaps an emperior of Russia who has been kept in a cryopreserve state since 1917 and is now ready to rejoin the job market.
- Associate Vice President – One of a number of Vice Presidents
- Patron Saint of Academic Studying – Unless this person was several hundred years old, I’m doubting whether this person is being totally honest about being a saint.
- personalised care assistant – Care Assistant is fine
- Hair Boiler- Someone who boils animal hair until it curls (for use in a variety of products)
- Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or butter by hand on popcorn
- Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in water until they are free of impurities
- Marketing Rockstar – Simply a Marketing Manager
- Grand master of underlings – Deputy Manager
- Creativity analyst – Assistant Marketing Manager
- Accounting Ninja – Financial Manager (Trying to make numbers sound sexier than they are)
- Sales Ninja – Sales Executive
- Conversation Architect – Digital Marketing Manager
- Director of Fun – Director of Marketing
- New Media Guru – Digital Marketing Manager
- Initiative Officer – Planner
- Social Media Trailblazer – Digital Marketing Executive
- Corporate Magician – Trade Show Magician
- Master Handshaker – ?????
- Communications Ambassador – ?????
- Happiness Advocate – ?????
- Under Secretary to the Sub-Committee – ?????
- Hyphenated-specialist – ??????
- Second Tier Totalist – ??????
- Actions and Repercussions Adviser -??????
- Professionalist – ??????
- International and world-wide optical and vision-focused tenured professorship –??????
- Creator of Happiness -??????
- Change Magician – ?????
- Chief Biscuit Dunker- ??????
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