Raj And Charlie Sheen Can Both Be Winners!

HedgeFundLIVE.com – Opening Scene: :  Camera pans into the huge office of attorney John Dowd, where he is trying to have a last minute strategy session with his client, Raj Rajaratnam.

HFL Disclaimer: This is an entirely fictitious account of possible trial preparation.  Please do not sue us.

  • Raj: I need a reservation for sixteen at Tao on Wednesday at 7 pm, a table for 13 at Lavo on Thursday at 7 pm, and a table for 12 at  Il Mulino’s at 8 pm on Friday.
  • Dowd: Raj, can you please get off the phone so we can get back to work. I understand that it is restaurant week here in New York, but this is the largest hedge fund insider trading trial in history. Your life is on the line here.  Dinner reservations can wait!
  • Raj: I wonder if  Il Mulino still has that yummy pasta special that I love? You think I hit the bid for Lavo at 6pm or hold out for a later table? Let the market come to Raj, baby. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • Dowd; Raj, please forget about food for five minutes. Jury selection for your trial begins this week, and you are facing very serious charges, perhaps 30 years in prison, or even worse, if you lose you might be sent back to Sri Lanka.
  • Raj: Nonsense, Mr. fancy pants lawyer. This entire case is a load of crap. I am the King of Kings. I will rise again. The Government has absolutely nothing on me. NOTHING!
  • Dowd: With all due respect Mr. Rajaratnam, this may not be the slam dunk victory that you believe it is. The US District Attorney’s office has many talented lawyers working on this case full time, they have over fifteen thousand wiretaps, damaging tapes of you talking to 130 of your friends and peers, numerous cooperating witnesses ready to sing like canaries.
  • Raj. Their entire case is a fabricated mish-mosh of flimsy circumstantial evidence. “He said this, she said that, she spoke to him, he knew that”.  This, my friend, is what we Sri Lankans call a no brainer.
  • Dowd: That is an interesting take on this trial. Most experts think your odds of winning are more like two per cent. This is very risky business, Raj. 
  • Raj: Please shut your high priced mouth.  I will win this case.  I am a winner, like Charlie Sheen.  We are both winners, baby.  In any case we better win this damn case, Mr. dream team lawyer.  I have spent 40 million dollars defending this case.  Do you know how many good trades it takes to make 40 million dollars?  Money talks, bullshit walks.  Case closed, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
  • Dowd:  The Government has secured 19 guilty pleas. It claims that you made tens of millions of dollars on 37 illegal insider trades while working at The Galleon Group. They have boatloads of evidence, and very strong witnesses. For Christ’s sake, Lloyd Blankfein will be testifying for the Government against you. Click Here for the full article.  http://www.hedgefundlive.com/blog/raj-and-charlie-sheen-can-both-be-winners

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